Positive + Negative= Friction

We just finished up a Dressage Horse Show in Burbank, Ca. It was so great being around these large warm blooded magnificent creatures again. It was also great seeing friends I’d missed. The talk amongst the vendors was about the upcoming FEI World Cup show to be in Las Vegas in the middle of April. For all of us this has been regarded as the all time best revenue show of the year.

The World Cup takes place every two years. In 2007 vendors trying to get into the show at this late of date paid $10 k for a 10 x 10 booth space. Knowing what fools were willing to pay, the show promoters had an increase of over 20% for this year’s starting fee. We all jumped on board with no hesitation and no complaining. We did not want to jeopardize getting into the show. Ah, but times have changed since 2007. Today, two weeks before the show, there is an abundance of retail booth space available and the promoter is offering discounts to get it full. This realization has caused resentment among the long term vendors and angry discussions regarding the current state of affairs was heard throughout the horse park.

I have a dear friend named Martha. Martha and her husband are German and America has been very, very good to them. They sold their million dollar Malibu home and their million dollar retail business several years ago. Martha is patriotic and optimistic. When we discussed the current situation regarding World Cup, Martha’s response was-“Oh, well.” She was dead on right. Her response implied what “can you do?” There truly was nothing anyone could do. We had signed our contracts, paid our money and had an obligation. Much like the obligation I made when I purchased a home at double the value it is today. But something about her attitude irked me. Like that piece of sand that irritates the oyster. Why doesn’t she get up in arms? Why doesn’t she get angry? Why does it not make her mad that there is nothing we can do?

During another show this year, there was a vendor in tears because her candle business was costing her more money than she was making. I listened as vendor friends tried to explain to her about profit margins and expenses. She was not open. She refused to believe she could do better. She wanted to cry. I watched as the friction got hotter and hotter with the girl still in tears and the friends furious at her not wanting to listen.

I had to wonder, how many times had I taken on the positive side of a situation in hopes of making a friend happy? How many times had I watched a friend be sad and tried to help with comforting words or by trying to show another side to the situation? I cannot recall it ever helping. But I can recall how it did make them feel better if I commiserated with them. If I agreed they were right and their thought pattern was right on, they somehow felt better. There was no friction.

I hope this realization, will stop me next time. I hope I can refuse the dangling carrot and find a nice peaceful pasture with plenty of green grass where my positive energy can flow and be content in knowing that what they are feeling will pass or not. But either way I have not caused friction.

My first tag

Guidelines:
1) Link to Green Meme Bloggers.
2) Link back to whoever tagged you. (no need to wait to be tagged!)
3) Include meme number
4) Include these guidelines in your post
5) Tag 3 other green bloggers.
Green Meme #3

1. Are you keeping your temperature (heating/cooling) systems on low? If you have radiators are they fitted with thermostats?
Yes (?) 68 and sometimes I can get it lower if Paul isn't around. It is down to 50 at night. Right now we don't have it on at all.
In the summer we are 78-80 and we have a thermastat.
But we heat our hot tub once -twice a week. Pump and heater are old so we waste a lot there.


2. If yes to the above, what do you to keep warm/cool without resorting to turning up those numbers?
Down comforter and zero degree bags for sleeping

3. Do you turn your fridge temperature down when it has less items in it?
Yes, we have to or things freeze. Lately it's been really empty. Thank you economy.

4. Do you unplug unused small appliances?
I did today after reading this, but we keep everything plugged, coffe grinder, expresso machine, blender, microwave (gasp!) and toaster oven.
5. Do you switch off rather than leave on standby; TV/computer/dvd player/etc?
Yep!
6. Do you own (or will you purchase in the future) energy-efficient (star-rated) home appliances?
Fridge, front load washer and dryer all bought when we moved in as energy stars. But the AC is an antique and the doors and windows need replacing.

7. Do you have any green goals/hopes for the next few months?
Keep AC off as long as possible. Expecially at night. Working hard on garden

I'll tag Diana on Facebook!

I use malapropisms!

This week Adrian got down a puzzle that had been sitting on a shelf for years. I bought a puzzle for Christmas 2 years ago, but he'd have nothing to do with it when I got it out and tried putting it together. When he was much younger he loved puzzles! Unschooling is about providing, but not forcing. Adrian and this puzzle is a great example of this thought. He has to find things on his own time to be the most enthused.

Our puzzle was bought when we lived in the islands as an activity for Paul and I during Friday night libations. The puzzle is words and letters with their definitions and trivia. Since Paul is a writer I thought he'd enjoy it. He never did. It's probably not as fun when you know all the answers. But this puzzle has some really hard words.

Adrian too took great interest in it and learned some...well trivia!

Malapropism-a verbal blunder through the usage of incorrect words that sound similar.

S-is the first letter of most words in the English language.

Neanimorphic-Looking younger than ones years. (This word was not in my spell check-hmm interesting).

Hiking Club!

Wow! Who ever said kids who don't go to school are anti-everything? Here is what we did in our new Hiking Club! We caught and held lizards, studied the nest of some kind of worms and some kind of moss, checked out some animal tracks, did some killer rock climbing and had so much!!!
I am so so happy, my kid doesn't sit in a classroom not socializing with the kid whose last name begins with the same as his! OK-off my soap box! Yea for fun!

The Spritual Solitude

Well I finally did it. I finished Eat, Pray, Love. I have to admit, it took so long because I never wanted to finish it. It held so many great inspirational words and thoughts. It has inspired me to meditate on a daily basis. It has made me be a bit more discipline in my spiritual development. But it has also made me wonder...

Why is it so much easier to dedicate our life or periods of time to our spiritual development when we do not have significant others (children included) in our life. Sid Hartha left his wife and son, the Dali Lama lives a life of solitude, Jesus Christ and Elizabeth Gilbert had no obligations as she tried to seek her peace.

This morning as I was meditating, I heard A creep into my room, stand for a moment, then crawl in next to me. I was in a pleasant place while this all happened and I hoped by ignoring his presence he'd leave, but instead he whispered "Mommy". I reluctantly went to my side curled him into my spoon and answered "Yes?" He said "This is all I wanted." In Eat, Pray, Love one of the characters says I realized as I was raising my young that it was not important for them to love me, only that I love them.

Tomorrow I will wake up earlier to meditate.

A Sunny Day At Home!

What We Do on Wednesday!

Talk!

Laugh!

And Play!

How does your garden grow?

Our tomatoes! We planted them this way last year and we got tomatoes for a very long time. We just have to make sure we do not get any tomato worms this year! We learned a little from last year and we are excited to know that we can grow tomatoes all year long, if we treat them right! Hopefully we have learned from our mistakes!


The beginning. I have great help from my farmer buddies! We have strawberries, cucumbers, peppers, squash and melons! Here's to a bountiful year! Still looking for spinach!

Cocky!

I am self righteous. I try to right the wrong. I have a problem with phone operators who are trying to help me! My self chatter with drivers who are doing stupid things all in the name of getting somewhere in zero time is all about how stupid they are and how if only they drove like me they'd be so much better off. I am rude to the post office clerk because they make me stand in line instead of handing me a box! And the list goes on and on...

I don't know how I acquired this fault. I have pondered it of late. What in my childhood built this strong character flaw? I know it came from very early on. I know this because a friend from high school recently called me cocky and then preceded to give me stories of crimes I had commited in the ninth grade to back this up! She was right! I have thought everyone is wrong and I am right for way too long. Just being able to not be right is a hard habit to give up. I have tried to correct this in the past. I am better at this than I use to be. I remember when I practiced the many lessons that was to make me realize that being right is not thinking in the right mind. Yet there is still a core part of me that grows strong in this self righteous train of thought. A black, hard trunk that won't turn white no matter how hard I meditate on it.

And meditate I have! I have now gone weeks meditating for an hour or more each morning. But my ego is starting to fight it harder, trying to get me to never begin. It knows once I begin, there is no ending it quickly. My ego whispers loudly, that I don't have time to lie here meditating. I have a list a mile long to get started on. I can't spend any more time somewhere where things may come up that I don't care to see. On and on it goes.

Well, I have to fix this cockiness. I have lived this dream too long with this lie. I know I will not find peace while this delusional trunk grows inside. I must figure out how to stump it from within. How?...