Saturday, December 26, 2009
My goal today is to not leave the "compound". I plan on exercising, eating chocolates & leftovers & watching some more Christmas movies. This year the stress of work & Christmas left so little time to enjoy, but traditionally the 12 days of Christmas start on Christmas day & now I have the time to enjoy it.
There are still board games unopened. Adrian got some cool stuff & I haven't heard any dissapointment over not getting an X-box. He got an Erector Set, a snap circuit set, a 1,000 piece Lego set, Blokus, Scrabble, Magnetix, a basketball backboard, Harry Potter movie, a DS game, & killer computer game call Civilization. My only regret is there were no new books, but he visits the library every week & I like geting books 4 the home at sales where he can have many choices when he runs out of library books.
Civilization allows players the chance to lead their chosen nation from the dawn of man through the space age & become the greatest ruler the world has ever known. He will learn so much history from this game. I so wish my family members could understand the greatness of the amount of learning that comes from technology. Our civilization has advanced so much, why do people find it hard to accept that the school learning system is so archaic. Why is it so hard to give up the fact that a kid at age nine can write anyway that makes him comfortable. What is the most I write down these days? My grocery list & sometimes that goes on my Treo too! I can see in no way where he is inferior to his schooled friends. By contrast I see a boy whose logic ,common sense & vocabulary far outrank most of his age. Noooooooo! I must not compare! We all learn what we want to when we want to, no matter how forced regulation tries to change that!
Friday, December 25, 2009
My annual Gluf Coast ornament. This year the Downtown Cathedral!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
This week, Adrian and I were driving home from the show listening to the radio. Adrian made the comment that the lyric "reach down and touch me", should not be in that song. I looked at him and asked if he thought it was a sexual innuendo. He said "mom!". I said "yes". If I had wanted to hear that word I would have said it myself. "Sex" I replied. "Yes" came from his. I went on to explain that I would like to always keep the doors of communication open when it comes to sex. I explained how he'd have sex some day, that it was a natural progression. His remark was once again priceless: "I would rather live in the moment."
Something did sink in.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
In DC we went to the International Spy Museum. What a treat. A really fascinating tour. I just have one question? Why do we prosecute and execute men who turn spy's against US yet pay top dollars to the person willing to do the same against their country?
I had to drag the boys to see some significant sites of DC! You can tell how close we got. LOL!
Another highlight of DC is hanging with our friends Edna and Carsten. The meals are the best home cooking ever and the conversation is inspiring. I loved that Paul got to experience Peggy's front porch. Happy hour is amazing as characters in or combing the neighborhood drop in. This time we were visited by a young retired Marine collecting for Amnesty International. He never asked for money but sat talking with us about a myriad of topics, then their was the couple who had just got back from Tangier. They had stayed a month in a remote part of the country. The hardest thing was the lack of food choices they had. He spoke of how all the money from the US never went to the intended. Wow! After the hour, Paul compared the "Frolic Arms" happy hour to a TV show!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
"Making choices that respect all parties", although the best way to solve any conflict or difference of opinion, is 8 times out of 10 not what we do in the heat of the moment. In those times we act from our ego state instead of our right mind. While being able to diffuse a conflict is ideally the best, what tool can I give my child to recover from the explosion that usually occurs? While it is important for our children to make their own decisions, it is also important to teach them the tools that will help in their decision making. The most important tool to help us in life is the understanding of the meaning of instant forgiveness.
Instant forgiveness comes in atonement. An instant reconciliation. It is forgiving the person who we feel has done us harm and then forgiving ourselves for our part in the situation. Trapping anyone in my head with conflicting thoughts does the "enemy", nor I any good. In fact it hurts us both. Peace can not come from hate, dislike,resentment or judgement.
So how do I teach my son to use this tool? It's benefits are not the easiest to see, when he's hurt because a friend declares "I hate you and you are not my friend anymore." How can he find himself to forgive automatically a person who has deliberately tried to hurt him as much as he can? I don't. Not right away. I give it time. It might be 3 hours or 3 days. Sometimes I'm still trying to help him understand after 3 months but he gets it eventually. Usually because he sees that having a friend whose company he really does enjoy is better than being mad. He likes the fun of playing without hard feelings. He likes knowing he can see his friend without the bullshit of egos getting in the way.
Another way to teach my son about this important tool, is by example. As a family we are big proponents of that 3 word sentence "I am sorry." This doesn't always come from a place that means I feel different about a situation or that I have changed my mind and see that my love one is right. It is apologizing for my part in the conflict. It is forgiving them and myself for the hurt that has been caused. It doesn't happen right away. Sometimes it takes 3 minutes, sometimes 3 hours and sometimes until the next morning, but it never takes more than that. We seek atonement because we want to be happy and we want to live in harmony.
I didn't learn about instant forgiveness early in life. As a family we would spend months not talking to each other after a conflict. Saying I am sorry was never common in our household. I learned to sweep it under the rug, but never to forget it. I don't blame anyone for this. Unless we seek other answers we only know what we are taught.
Maturity is a big part of obtaining the learning tools that give us peace. Looking every one we have a conflict with in our life, whether if be friends, lovers, parents, or our children, in the eyes and saying "I am sorry" every time helps us get it. It is not always easy, just letting the situation drift into the past is probably easier, but it doesn't bring us peace. Conflicts will always happen, but if we're not learning peace from it, then it becomes nasty and painful.
Even without our influence, instant forgiveness is easier to learn from childhood. I tend to think it's easier. Childhood is like cat play. When a cat can't catch the butterfly, it moves on. In that moment he forgives the situation. It doesn't hold resentment or get frustrated, it just sort of shrugs it's shoulders and goes on to the next act. For children to remember that as the best course of action for the rest of their life without support and good examples is harder than forgetting.
At times it is hard for me as a mom to forgive a child or mom who has hurt my son. But in those times I use all my self control not show this to my son. I don't want my ego to influence his decision making. That is not to say I don't want my son to see me make mistakes, but at the same time I don not want to put my thoughts, words or judgement into his head. But keeping our egos from influencing our children is another topic.
Understating our boundaries, is understanding ourselves. Understanding ourselves is living in peace. Living in peace happens when we have the tools to love ourselves and others. Go without boundaries but most important go in peace.
Friday, July 31, 2009
I have my list of must do's every year:
1) Visit Carmel Valley Wineries
2) One evening spent at the bar over looking the 18 hole @Pebble Beach Lodge, eating fried calamari and drinking good local wine.
3) Eating Ciopinno at Phil's Market in Moss Landing
4) Eating sand dabs on the wharf not visited by a ton of tourist on Monterrey Bay and watching the otters play between the sailboats.
5) Slurping down a few Fanny Bay oysters at the Farmer's Market.
6) Visiting the gardens at Earth Bound
7) Takine long morning walks to hear the seals bark.
8) Listening to endless amounts of KPIG radio.
After 4 years in Las Vegas it is now a great pleasure to be wet and cold for days on end in July. It no longer depresses me to be covered in a thick fog and only see the sun shine for a few hours each day. I no longer miss my new home, but enjoy staying cozy in my RV keeping my son close by all the time.
I love the life Adrian has for one month. He has a fort, a sand pile and a tree he plays in with his friends for hours at a time. He sleeps in the tent with his best friend. He runs so much that his skinny jeans bag on him!
I have been accepted (at long last) by the riders, trainers and owners. I look forward to seeing them every year. And my friend Dion, who I spend hours with talking endlessly about our different religion philosphies trying to figure it all out and coming away fulfilled, but still perplexed!
I'm gonna miss life here next summer. It seems the US Open will be taking place at the Pebble Beach Golf Course and there isn't enough time to prepare for the show. We're looking at Oregon, Washington and Europe for next year's summer. I'm thankful that I have a business that allows for so much traveling! Otherwise I'd not be me.