A Pirate Looks at Forty

The Year of the Rabbit

2011-02-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

Adrian is a rabbit, but don't tell him that. He believes he's a dragon. Can you blame him? The reason is because he was born in the year 2000. And if you are to look on a Chinese Restaurant place mat he is a dragon, but he was born before the Chinese New Year, so really he is a rabbit. His element is earth.

The Earth element gives these Rabbits a sense of reality and practicality that others don’t illustrate so freely. They are able to give sound advice, which in turn gets them respect and trust from those who solicit their counsel. They take pride in their homes and work diligently to make them a place of security for their loved ones. In the same breath, Earth Rabbits put a great deal of value on material comforts and like to make money.

Yep, I'd say he's a rabbit.

from start to finish

2010-12-25T14:37:00.001-08:00

Where?

2010-11-22T20:22:00.000-08:00

Where have I been? I was looking on my friend's Annette's blog and noticed how all the blogs that she follows are up to date. That is all, but mine. Yea, I've been really busy. This year has gone by faster that any year I've ever experienced! I feel the older I get, the easier it is to understand the metaphysical theory that there is no such thing as time. This moment is the same as the day I was born, as the moment I gave birth and the same as the day my Mom gave birth. I truly understand this more and more, the older I get.

But, where have I been? This year I spent most of the spring on the East Coast, the summer on the West Coast and the Fall back on the East Coast. Traveling is really not the reason I have not blogged much. Nor is time. The real reason is my old lap top. It's seven year old! It takes to much time to post and add and edit pictures and I need constant Internet access. I was stunned at the poor quality and lack of wireless available at highly priced campgrounds this year.

Paul has asked me to go get a computer and reliable Internet service. I have too much web to conquer, but I'll get to it, eventually.

In the mean time: Enjoy life, live it fully and to the utmost, don't look back, smell the roses, practice tolerence and patience, treat your children with respect, and never ever forget, this is the year that Auburn University will be the # 1 Champions in the SEC!!!

Images of September

2010-10-10T08:40:00.001-07:00

A Message from Facebook

2010-09-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

A message I received on FaceBook: "I just wanted to tell you (though, I'm SURE I've told you before!) how much I enjoy the pictures and updates of your travels and all of your new learning experiences. I have much admiration for your open-mindedness and courage and willingness to REALLY live your life. More so for your child. I think the life experiences you allow him are the most incredible gifts than you can give him. I have no doubt, that as an adult, he will look back and know how lucky he was to have such a unique life and awesomely cool parents! "
My response:
"As a mom my biggest fear is that my son will be an unhappy adult. I work very hard on treating him with the same respect and compassion I hope to receive from my loved ones. It takes being constantly aware of the words and tones that I use. It does not come my way naturally. But I have great role models in my friends. Your words are most appreciated! Thanks for the love!"

My Role Models

I was in over my sons head...

2010-08-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

and for that reason I could not have the most fun on this white water rafting adventure. It has to be a Mom thing!

Things that make you go hmm...

2010-07-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

FOOD! It is constantly on our minds. There is not a friendship made or a gathering of people in which food does not come into our conversations. And even when we are not talking about it we are thinking about it. I have friends who are Vegans, Raw Vegans, Vegetarians and those who follow the Weston Price Foundation Principles. I like the WPF diet. It makes the most since to me. I get all my nutrition, which many of the diets don't, and I feel that by not eating foods with chemicals I can't pronounce, but eating what my grandmother has eaten to the ripe old age of 95 has got to work.
But this bloggers perspective got me thinking again. Hmm....
The Fresh Network Blog

Volcanic Eruption

2010-07-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

So why am I wearing a bathing suit (much to my son's chagrin)as we hike up to the best view of the Obisidian Flow?

Because we had been soaking in the warm springs on top of the crater on Newberry Volcano.

These are the falls created during the last eruption 1,00 years ago.

Oregon Summer Fun

2010-07-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

On the Road Again

2010-07-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Wow! I did not realize until we began prepping for our summer working vacation that it has been one year since I was traveling in our motor home. We have been prepping for our upcoming trip for 4 day and it has been bone tiring. As our house distanced in the rear view mirror I asked "OK, what have we forgotten?" Paul, contemplating our intense preparation was certain there could have been nothing. Eight hours later some of the answers becomes clear: the down comforter (where we are going the low is in the 30's at night), the spices (including the salt) and some work out equipment (yoga mat and resistant bands).

Earlier I had awoke at 3:00 am and thought "you can't forget last night's homemade ice cream, basil from the garden and olive oil." I really thought that was all we were missing and there was no way we could not be on the road by 7 am. We woke at 5:00 am and left the house at 8:05 am.

As I finished loading the RV, I was blessing the home and missing it at the same time. I remembered a conversation I had with Tara a few months before when she was in the process of selling most everything she owned and walking away from her home to live a life of "full timing". I couldn't convince her at the time, but I relayed that it would all be far away and most forgotten by the first night of camping.

The sun is slowly fading on our campsite in the orange grove and I wonder "Where is home?"

The Greatest Show on Earth!

2010-06-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

If you have not read "Water for Elephants" do!

Yea, I never thought it would happen again either...

2010-06-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

But here it is: My first post in months. So many topics have flood my mind. I've wanted to talk on racial relationships, (after being told by an African American that I would not do well at the Capitol Jazz, because I was not black and after reading THE Help) to my beautiful garden which is giving us a bountiful of goods these days including artichoke, asparagus and yummy tomatoes. I've wanted to blog on my intense work schedule and my great reunion with old St. Thomas friends. But this is what I got for you. Pictures of yesterday's park day! And even this isn't complete because there are no pictures of the boys and their water gun fights.

Photo credit to Irena Whalen

May I have a minute of your time

2010-05-01T15:39:00.000-07:00

If you have not yet voted, for my friend Amy´s book, please do so now!She is participating in the Next Top Spiritual Author competition and the competition ends Sunday.Use this link;
http://www.NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=1705Thank you very much!PS I know I have not posted much lately.. but I will be back soon!

2010-04-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

Where Do Yo Sit When you Have a Builder in the Family?

2010-04-04T08:14:00.001-07:00

I wish I could say these are all the projects that are laying around my house at the moment, but what you don't see is the 3 ejector projects on the fireplace hearth or the Magnetix covering our TV room or the numerous (too many to count) Lego accomplishments in his room or the many art works .

I would like to know. Do you have a builder in your house? Where do you keep all their projects? I truly get a bit overwhelmed by the clutter.

I unschool so therefore life is a project and our house is his classroom but where will I sit in four years?

When Less is More

2010-03-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

In 1929, the superintendent of schools in Ithaca, New York, sent out a challenge to his colleagues in other cities. "What," he asked, "can we drop from the elementary school curriculum?" He complained that over the years new subjects were continuously being added and nothing was being subtracted, with the result that the school day was packed with too many subjects and there was little time to reflect seriously on anything. This was back in the days when people believed that children shouldn't have to spend all of their time at school work--that they needed some time to play, to do chores at home, and to be with their families--so there was reason back then to believe that whenever something new is added to the curriculum something else should be dropped.
One of the recipients of this challenge was L. P. Benezet, superintendent of schools in Manchester, New Hampshire, who responded with this outrageous proposal: We should drop arithmetic! Benezet went on to argue that the time spent on arithmetic in the early grades was wasted effort, or worse. In fact, he wrote: "For some years I had noted that the effect of the early introduction of arithmetic had been to dull and almost chloroform the child's reasoning facilities." All that drill, he claimed, had divorced the whole realm of numbers and arithmetic, in the children's minds, from common sense, with the result that they could do the calculations as taught to them, but didn't understand what they were doing and couldn't apply the calculations to real life problems. He believed that if arithmetic were not taught until later on--preferably not until seventh grade--the kids would learn it with far less effort and greater understanding.[1]

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Death of a Salesman (but death is a misnomer)

2010-03-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like Willie Lohman, only I'm much happier. I've been on the road since the end of February. I flew to BWI (Baltimore International Airport), spent a night or two with friends in DC, then began my journey down to South Florida. After an 8 hour drive I spent the night in St. George, SC. After a morning of not taking advantage of the free processed food , but loving the free treadmill, I ventured on down to Daytona, where Bike Week was in full swing. Friends had rented a gorgeous house in an old neighborhood, with huge oaks and pines and imaginary bobcats.

The minute I entered Florida on Hwy 95 I was engulfed in nostalgia. I remembered walking hand in hand with Paul on the Mayport beach at the intersection of canal and Atlantic. We later took the same walk when I was pregnant and we conversed about how excited I was to be introducing a soul to our wayfarer lifestyle with all it's beauty and spontaneity.

In Daytona, my girlfriend & I visited the legendary Iron Horse Saloon, it is what I refer to as "Thunder Dome". Again, I was taken back to another year, another time, Pre- Adrian.It was the year 1999 when I first entered this bar with it's multi level swing bridges and burn out pits and I knew for sure that Tina Turner would come swinging down any minute.

My next stop took me to one of the equestrian capitols of the world. It was great seeing old friends and catching up.

My greatest fun, was visiting Nicky. I trained Nicky to take over my job as a shore excursion tour director for the cruise ships in St. Thomas in 1999. She was then my boss as the Atlantis Submarine, a real submarine that took 54 people down 90 feet to a fed coral reef. Nicky now works as a director for a privately owned cruise ship for the elite billionaires of the world. We had a blast. She's from Whales and we are comfortable enjoying a good cuppa.

I'm staying in Florida longer than expected. Weather and expectations may be better.

Traveling for hours at a time with no dial on the radio worthwhile, with lots to ponder and a journal for contemplating. When the day is done it is satisfying and rewarding. Good friends, good memories, lots of self exploration.

Lasting Impressions

2010-02-21T19:22:00.000-08:00

So many things are changing, yet everything is the same. I have not worked much since 2009. Soon all the things I have routinely done at home will come to a halt: baking, gardening, & park day. I will instead spend the weekends working shows in Virginia and Maryland visiting with friends, sleeping in different beds and driving rental vans. I will not be able to lean on Paul to back me up.

For many months I had the regularity of meditation and exercise keeping me on track, I was feeling good about going into the new working year, but for the past 2 months I have had a swollen knee due to a torn meniscus, which has put a halt to the intense work out I was enjoying. I'm not sure why I lost the Breathe.

I don't hold onto familiarity and I am not dependent on regularity. I have never really felt settled anywhere. Many, many years ago I was working on the Celestine Prophecy workbook and one of the tasks was to connect the dots that lead to where you are now. In other words what events brought me here, right now. The goal was to understand that there are always many choices we can make, and the one we do make is significant to where we go: It is what we do in the moment that leads to the next moment. I believe I understand with such clarity why I chose to live on St. Thomas because it had everything I "thought I wanted" and everything I really did want.

I often wonder why I moved to Las Vegas. What is the lesson? What was the need?

I believe I moved to Las Vegas, to learn how to be a better parent. I moved here to meet more people who reassure me that by listening to my gut, connecting with my child , and considering his father, I will make the best choices to leave upon my son.

After only a month of moving into our home, I contacted a homeschooling group, who's description appealed to me. "We hope to support and inspire each other on our journeys of living and learning. Because respect for the child is at the core of unschooling, we expect our members to act accordingly on the list and in real life gatherings. We embrace diversity and hope that all who join our group will respect each others' differences and remain open to learning from each other." This group's members have changed since I first joined. There are only 3 families from our original beginnings that are still regulars in the group. Las Vegas, like St. Thomas is filled with transients.

One of the Four Noble Truths: The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. When I meet a friend I know they are not permanent, that my happiness does not rely on their being, but I know that just by calling them friend they have given me a little more understanding of my true self. They have left a lasting impression.

Another transient (though born here is leaving for life on the road) and one I call friend is leaving the LifeLearners, she is moving on, following her heart, facing her fears and becoming her true self. And again I realize that things will change. Our ego wants us to believe these changes are dramatic, but in reality they are subtle.

My ego misses my friend tonight. My ego sheds tears for the absent Wednesday chair.

I am feeling shaken and stirred. It's time to remember to how to breathe.

First Decade Down

2010-02-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

Does anyone remember The Homecoming? In it Elizabeth Walton would squeeze her head between her hands. She was exercising, it was to keep her from growing. She wanted to stay small forever. Sometimes I do that to Adrian. We joke about it and laugh.

But honestly, I don't feel sadness of my little boy growing up. He is so awsome and gets more and more awsome every year. Why wouldn't I be happy to get to know this young soul more and more every year?

Unplugged

2010-01-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

What does an unplugged evening bring to your family night? For me I got to play a full game of Monopoly, 2 hours of Uno, a great game of reading comprehension with Capture the Flag and a game of "What's Gnu?" to finish it off. It was 10:00 before we knew it!
While playing Uno we called all our numbers and colors in Spanish. Imagine my surprise when Adrian knew the color of green in French. Seems he'd learned in an online computer game.
But before I plan the next unplug night I'm gonna make sure Adrian has more library books! I was really hoping for a night of reading!

They Say It's Your Birthday

2010-01-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

One of the unconservative 21st Century pleasure we have is getting in the car and driving. We've done it every where we've visited. We love finding those out of the way places that no one seems to be inhabiting. For my birthday we did just that. After a stop at famous In and Out Burger we ventured to The Valley of Fire that is located about 50 miles north of Vegas. It was definitely the off season. Hardly any one there. Just us and miles and miles of rock. We did several hikes and lots of hole searching. Afterwards we headed home along Lake Mead, where we ventured down the roads to some coves and ended up at Echo Bay where we meandered into a brand spanking new restaurant where we happened to be the only guests! Pretty nice Birthday.

We found the Ass Hole! Counldn't resist!

First Day of New Year School

2010-01-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

Ugh! The break is over and we are back at it. We started with bed snuggles but decided we needed some TV watching on our new bedroom 32" Plasma. So we watched a recording we had from the History Channel on "How the Earth Was Made". I enjoyed how the scientist traveled to discover their findings, but I have to admit I kept asking Adrian "What are they talking about again?" and he'd explain it to me in simple terms.
Next we went on to play Blockus and yes the kid beat my pants off once again. I can't seem to "invision" as my son likes to say. He then traveled with his dad to compare hot water heaters for the jacuzzi, practice some basketball and then onto the library, where the men like to spend hours sitting and reading.
The day ended with history. Seems Paul was quiet upset that the clerk had sneezed into his bag of groceries before handing them to him. He came home called the store and ranted for 1/2 an hour about "Typhoid Mary." Adrian and I were curious as to who Typhoid Mary was, so we googled it and discovered she was an unknowing typhoid killer. She believed she had never had Typhoid, so could therefore not be a carrier of the deadly disease, but she was placed in confinement for most of her life. She was set free for a small period of time, but she did not keep her promise to never work as a cook again and infected a bunch more people. It is believed that her position in society had a lot to do with her treatment. Which lead to the discussion of our law system.
What a great day back at school!

Boxing Day

2009-12-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

Historians say the holiday developed because servants were required to work on Christmas Day, but took the following day off. As servants prepared to leave to visit their families, their employers would present them with gift boxes. Traditional English holiday.
My goal today is to not leave the "compound". I plan on exercising, eating chocolates & leftovers & watching some more Christmas movies. This year the stress of work & Christmas left so little time to enjoy, but traditionally the 12 days of Christmas start on Christmas day & now I have the time to enjoy it.
There are still board games unopened. Adrian got some cool stuff & I haven't heard any dissapointment over not getting an X-box. He got an Erector Set, a snap circuit set, a 1,000 piece Lego set, Blokus, Scrabble, Magnetix, a basketball backboard, Harry Potter movie, a DS game, & killer computer game call Civilization. My only regret is there were no new books, but he visits the library every week & I like geting books 4 the home at sales where he can have many choices when he runs out of library books.
Civilization allows players the chance to lead their chosen nation from the dawn of man through the space age & become the greatest ruler the world has ever known. He will learn so much history from this game. I so wish my family members could understand the greatness of the amount of learning that comes from technology. Our civilization has advanced so much, why do people find it hard to accept that the school learning system is so archaic. Why is it so hard to give up the fact that a kid at age nine can write anyway that makes him comfortable. What is the most I write down these days? My grocery list & sometimes that goes on my Treo too! I can see in no way where he is inferior to his schooled friends. By contrast I see a boy whose logic ,common sense & vocabulary far outrank most of his age. Noooooooo! I must not compare! We all learn what we want to when we want to, no matter how forced regulation tries to change that!

Working for the Holiday

2009-12-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

What's this? I am an independant owner of a small company who is to be able to take advantage of much needed time off when ever she chooses!!!! HA! HA! HA! Can I get a : "LMAO"?!!!

I saw pictures yesterday that I found from a link from a former neighbor in St. Thomas who is now on FB. It was photo's of Hull Bay, St. Thomas. My old stomping grounds. During our last month there we spent every evening watching the sun go down on the bay. I'd swim in the Ocean as the sun would touch the water. It was an "aw" moment. Wow! How I miss that beauty.

Today, Chirstmas Day, I had the most wonderful day! It was the first day I've had to do nothing but what I enjoy and love (cooking good food, watching movies and enjoying family) in months!!! Here's how it went down. Cappucinno in fine china.

Drum circle.

As washing machine ornament that lights up and the clothes go round and round for the laundry man!
My annual Gluf Coast ornament. This year the Downtown Cathedral!

MMM! Those chocolate covered cherries

The best gift I ever gave to guys in a family. The cowboy pistols. There have been gunfights all day!

The grande finale. Scallops, Lamb, mashed potatoes, and a salad made with fresh beets, maple walnuts, and my garden greens!

In the moment..

2009-12-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

We have a whiteboard on our refrigerator. It always has the days date, but what else goes on there is a random call. Sometimes it's what happened on this day in history, or hints on journal writing (someday I know he'll pick up that book and write for days) or it may have a spiritual quote from a varied of places. I like the Daily Word from Unity Church. I like Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williams and tons of inspirational writers. We never know what is sinking in and sometimes I feel I am erasing it too soon as the new day begins. I wonder did he get that or was that just a waste of my time. But erase it I do and the next bit of tidbit goes up.
This week, Adrian and I were driving home from the show listening to the radio. Adrian made the comment that the lyric "reach down and touch me", should not be in that song. I looked at him and asked if he thought it was a sexual innuendo. He said "mom!". I said "yes". If I had wanted to hear that word I would have said it myself. "Sex" I replied. "Yes" came from his. I went on to explain that I would like to always keep the doors of communication open when it comes to sex. I explained how he'd have sex some day, that it was a natural progression. His remark was once again priceless: "I would rather live in the moment."
Something did sink in.

How Long Has It Been....?

2009-12-14T20:13:00.000-08:00

Unbelievable! Really! (I must say that for the sake of sounding hip.) We have been so busy. Adrian usually has a full fall schedule with classes at the local recreation center, but this year there were many classes cancelled, including his past favorite, homeschool science. But unlike past schedules, this fall he was able to take Jr. Architect. It is taught by an architect who helped on several projects in Las Vegas, before retiring to become a full time mom of 3. He has built bridges, arches and roller coasters. Tennis was cancelled, but he has joined a basketball team for the early winter. This is his first team sport. We are all having a ton of fun.

Christmas is upon us! I have to say I am not into it. Paul and I have been working more than overtime for the past month. I would love to escape for the next month in our RV on the Baja. I really want some time to not do a dang thing. But guess what? It's Christmas! And my son is on a team. Team means supporting each other. I really am having a very hard time getting out the decorations. Decoration seems like work. My feet are killing me. Seriously.

So as you may have guessed, I cannot stop complaining, I cannot stop feeling like I would love for us to be any where but here. Yea, I'd like to be somewhere experiencing a different culture or seeing new sites. In the words of my son who was then 5. "It's time to blow this Popsicle stand."

Maybe some spiked eggnog would get me in the spirit. Hmm.... It's not much but here are a few pictures I took this fall.

Why do sugar, salt and bad oils taste so good...

2009-10-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

We belong to two homeschool groups. We enjoy both, but usually only get to one. Yesterday we got to the one least visited. The leader is great and always brings snacks for everyone. Yesterday as my son was munching down, I reminded him I had brought some food too. His response, "Yea, but you didn't bring cake and potato chips."
Sigh!

September Adventures

2009-10-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

Every year, due to a series of shows, we head to the East Coast for the month of September. Our business started 12 years ago on the East Coast. I considered settling in the beautiful country side of Virginia many times, but Paul really wanted to see more of the West before we made any decisions. I was surprised this year while heading to the Virginia Fall Races Steeplechase in Middleburg, VA when Paul said "It is really beautiful here, but.." and there always is a but, "it gets too cold." I have to say it also gets too wet for his arthritis ailments.

It is an adventure during this time. We stay with friends and in hotels. Staying with friends we eat the best, staying in hotels we sleep the best.

We had some great times visiting east coast friends. We always celebrate Paul's birthday at our friend's "Aunt Mac's" house where she always cooks her delicious crab cakes and we have a chocolate pie celebration! One of our all time favorite shows is the Maryland Wine Festival. We get to work with our friend Sandy and Adrian gets to play with her son Josh. On this trip a friend of ours who is from Germany (and I make this point because I find Germans have the hardest time accepting the concept of homeschooling) commented on Adrian traveling with us. He wanted to know if there was someone we could leave him with so he could go to school. Paul's response was wonderful. "Why would I not want my son with me?" Here's Adrian, not socializing and having a terrible time because he goes to work with us.

We have done a show near Philly forever. It is one of our favorite shows because it is the best Dressage Show in the country! Here's a picture of our shop for the week we are there.

This year we hung around Philly and saw some historical sites. I found this to be such great fun! It was inspiring knowing that we were in the home place of our constitution. I truly felt the earth move while visiting Ben Franklin's grave as he was turning restlessly at the thought of our government today.

In DC we went to the International Spy Museum. What a treat. A really fascinating tour. I just have one question? Why do we prosecute and execute men who turn spy's against US yet pay top dollars to the person willing to do the same against their country?

I had to drag the boys to see some significant sites of DC! You can tell how close we got. LOL!

Is that the Prez?

Another highlight of DC is hanging with our friends Edna and Carsten. The meals are the best home cooking ever and the conversation is inspiring. I loved that Paul got to experience Peggy's front porch. Happy hour is amazing as characters in or combing the neighborhood drop in. This time we were visited by a young retired Marine collecting for Amnesty International. He never asked for money but sat talking with us about a myriad of topics, then their was the couple who had just got back from Tangier. They had stayed a month in a remote part of the country. The hardest thing was the lack of food choices they had. He spoke of how all the money from the US never went to the intended. Wow! After the hour, Paul compared the "Frolic Arms" happy hour to a TV show!

August Highlights

2009-09-05T14:52:00.001-07:00

Life is full but here's a few highlights from August.

Instant Forgiveness-A required tool

2009-08-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

In raising a boxless child (thanks to my friend Tara for the inspiration) as a parent we want to give our children all the room to grow and make their decisions with their consequences. We don't want to mold them into what's best for society or for our life. We want them to know true happiness. To be comfortable in their own skin. We want them to make the decisions that will bring them peace.

"Making choices that respect all parties", although the best way to solve any conflict or difference of opinion, is 8 times out of 10 not what we do in the heat of the moment. In those times we act from our ego state instead of our right mind. While being able to diffuse a conflict is ideally the best, what tool can I give my child to recover from the explosion that usually occurs? While it is important for our children to make their own decisions, it is also important to teach them the tools that will help in their decision making. The most important tool to help us in life is the understanding of the meaning of instant forgiveness.

Instant forgiveness comes in atonement. An instant reconciliation. It is forgiving the person who we feel has done us harm and then forgiving ourselves for our part in the situation. Trapping anyone in my head with conflicting thoughts does the "enemy", nor I any good. In fact it hurts us both. Peace can not come from hate, dislike,resentment or judgement.

So how do I teach my son to use this tool? It's benefits are not the easiest to see, when he's hurt because a friend declares "I hate you and you are not my friend anymore." How can he find himself to forgive automatically a person who has deliberately tried to hurt him as much as he can? I don't. Not right away. I give it time. It might be 3 hours or 3 days. Sometimes I'm still trying to help him understand after 3 months but he gets it eventually. Usually because he sees that having a friend whose company he really does enjoy is better than being mad. He likes the fun of playing without hard feelings. He likes knowing he can see his friend without the bullshit of egos getting in the way.

Another way to teach my son about this important tool, is by example. As a family we are big proponents of that 3 word sentence "I am sorry." This doesn't always come from a place that means I feel different about a situation or that I have changed my mind and see that my love one is right. It is apologizing for my part in the conflict. It is forgiving them and myself for the hurt that has been caused. It doesn't happen right away. Sometimes it takes 3 minutes, sometimes 3 hours and sometimes until the next morning, but it never takes more than that. We seek atonement because we want to be happy and we want to live in harmony.

I didn't learn about instant forgiveness early in life. As a family we would spend months not talking to each other after a conflict. Saying I am sorry was never common in our household. I learned to sweep it under the rug, but never to forget it. I don't blame anyone for this. Unless we seek other answers we only know what we are taught.

Maturity is a big part of obtaining the learning tools that give us peace. Looking every one we have a conflict with in our life, whether if be friends, lovers, parents, or our children, in the eyes and saying "I am sorry" every time helps us get it. It is not always easy, just letting the situation drift into the past is probably easier, but it doesn't bring us peace. Conflicts will always happen, but if we're not learning peace from it, then it becomes nasty and painful.

Even without our influence, instant forgiveness is easier to learn from childhood. I tend to think it's easier. Childhood is like cat play. When a cat can't catch the butterfly, it moves on. In that moment he forgives the situation. It doesn't hold resentment or get frustrated, it just sort of shrugs it's shoulders and goes on to the next act. For children to remember that as the best course of action for the rest of their life without support and good examples is harder than forgetting.

At times it is hard for me as a mom to forgive a child or mom who has hurt my son. But in those times I use all my self control not show this to my son. I don't want my ego to influence his decision making. That is not to say I don't want my son to see me make mistakes, but at the same time I don not want to put my thoughts, words or judgement into his head. But keeping our egos from influencing our children is another topic.

Understating our boundaries, is understanding ourselves. Understanding ourselves is living in peace. Living in peace happens when we have the tools to love ourselves and others. Go without boundaries but most important go in peace.

Business as Usual

2009-07-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

Wow this month has flown by. I have enjoyed this stint of 6 weeks in Northern California more than other years. I know the farmer's market schedule and which one has the date guy and which one has the best seafood purveyor and which farmer doesn't use pesticides. I know the best beach for body surfing and the best way to get to Pacific Grove.
I have my list of must do's every year:
1) Visit Carmel Valley Wineries
2) One evening spent at the bar over looking the 18 hole @Pebble Beach Lodge, eating fried calamari and drinking good local wine.
3) Eating Ciopinno at Phil's Market in Moss Landing
4) Eating sand dabs on the wharf not visited by a ton of tourist on Monterrey Bay and watching the otters play between the sailboats.
5) Slurping down a few Fanny Bay oysters at the Farmer's Market.
6) Visiting the gardens at Earth Bound
7) Takine long morning walks to hear the seals bark.
8) Listening to endless amounts of KPIG radio.

After 4 years in Las Vegas it is now a great pleasure to be wet and cold for days on end in July. It no longer depresses me to be covered in a thick fog and only see the sun shine for a few hours each day. I no longer miss my new home, but enjoy staying cozy in my RV keeping my son close by all the time.
I love the life Adrian has for one month. He has a fort, a sand pile and a tree he plays in with his friends for hours at a time. He sleeps in the tent with his best friend. He runs so much that his skinny jeans bag on him!
I have been accepted (at long last) by the riders, trainers and owners. I look forward to seeing them every year. And my friend Dion, who I spend hours with talking endlessly about our different religion philosphies trying to figure it all out and coming away fulfilled, but still perplexed!
I'm gonna miss life here next summer. It seems the US Open will be taking place at the Pebble Beach Golf Course and there isn't enough time to prepare for the show. We're looking at Oregon, Washington and Europe for next year's summer. I'm thankful that I have a business that allows for so much traveling! Otherwise I'd not be me.

Adrian's View on the deYoung Museum

2009-07-17T09:22:00.001-07:00

If you look real hard you can see the Golden Gate Bridge on the far right hand upper corner.

Summer Time

2009-07-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Taking a ride on the Sea Turtle at the Institute of Science in San Fran.

Can you see the turtle under the gator's head?

Harry Potter at the base of the falls in the Redwood.

Big Sur.
"On the big rock candy mountain!"

Big Sur Bridge

Writing in Sand

2009-07-07T07:43:00.000-07:00

As mothers, how conscious are we of the effect we have on our children? Our life as a mother requires a constant awareness of how every word and every action we create is a moment our child may reflect on for the rest of their lives.
There is no stronger proof of this than reflecting on the history we share with our Moms. Is their anyone else that can disrupt our being more than our moms? And it is done so easily, maybe with a comment on the book we are reading, a remark regarding our favorite outfit, or criticism of our feelings. Not any other love one effects us the way our Mom does. Friends don't effect us this way. Moms say things to their children they would never say to a friend.
There are extreme cases of childhood abuse and of these I am not referring. But in the instance that we remember the words spoken or not spoken by our Moms, moment that we carry with us for a life time, we can ask ourselves "Did she really mean to have such a negative effect?" As moms we're not deliberately trying to hurt the ones we love the most.
I often think of my son grown. What will our relationship be? Will I proffer unsolicited advise? Or will I be able to stand by him with love and support and with no judgement on who he has become? Do I do that now?
I strive to always be open to feelings my child or a love one may have. I reflect on how I may contribute to their discomfort. But I will not try and change their feelings or who they are, cause only they can do that (perhaps that should be my mantra). And when I realize that maybe I didn't handle a situation in the best way, I will say "I'm sorry, I realize I played a part in this conflict."
Because a child and parent relationship is the longest we will have, they tend to be written in stone, to be less flexible than other relationships. That is why I find it so important to show my son that I can change. I don't have to respond a certain way every time. That I can be the best he needs me to be. We can write our story in sand.

4th of July on Spanish Bay

2009-07-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is our first week in Pebble Beach. The first week is a dressage show. Paul drove us here, set us up and then left us. He will take care of the the house, garden and taxes while we enjoy the Northern California beaches and hopefully put some money in the bank.

I aiming to understand the recent heartache and in between the sadness and the madness we have a little fun.

The definition of insanity

2009-06-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

"We can have peace if we let go of wanting to change the past and wanting to control the future." ~Lester Levinson

I have failed miserably at finding peace this week. And this quote sums it all up. When will I realize that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again, hoping to get a different result?

No matter the distance I put between my family and past hurtful situations, comments and judgements, I will never heal until I realize that nothing can upset my peace but me. A psychologist once told me that in the equation A + B=C, I may not change A(the person), B (the situation) but I do have control over C (how I react).

This may all sound very aloof, but I cannot blog about the situation without hurting someone I really love.

I shall reread Lester Levinson until I find the peace and wisdom to abide by the words.

A Whisper

2009-06-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that knowledge is a a dangerous thing. It can alienate you. It can make you become paranoid. It can disrupt your tranquility.
I have been reading for some time now (because I read all books these days at a snails pace, unless traveling) Animals, Vegetables and Miracles by Barbara Kingsolver.
This book has allowed me to see things clearer in terms of what I can do easily to help the country and myself to a healthy green alternative lifestyle. Yet I find I am alienating myself from my friends and my family. I have become an "unrealistic" person. "I don't face reality" is a term I hear a lot. I am becoming obsessed by reading passages to whoever is near me, preaching on about electricity wasted, or by going on about subsidized farming. To be blunt, I am making my friends very unhappy.
I understand this. I too get frustrated with friends who are constantly harping on about the way our country is doomed or friend's whose children are paranoid to eat anything not grown organically. I watch as terror seems to fill their whole existence and now I am becoming one of them! "No! I don't want that chicken, it has hormones in it!" "How can I eat that? It has Soy lecithin! It has corn syrup! It has aspartame!" I can never eat Polo Loco again! Ugh!
Yet like the preacher standing by the podium I am determined to stike fear. I have started to believe that this world is real. That what I do in this dream can affect me, instead of realizing, that only what I chose to affect me will.
This doesn't mean I don't want to try and create a better place for this body of matter to live in. I just don't want to alienate people.
I want to learn how to whisper. A whisper that doesn't have to be heard. A whisper that tickles the listener's ear. A whisper that feels good. A whisper creates curiosity. Shhh....Can you hear me?

Science Fair

2009-06-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

Adrian takes a science class at the local recreational center. He loves it. I think it's the girls in the class he loves the most. I have noticed my boy ain't shy with the ladies, but that's not the point.

Adrian decided to tell me while we are working a show, that he has a science project due the next day.

I panicked. I went into the nervous mom mode, frightened my kid would look like an idiot, and worse, frightened I would look like an idiot! Then the guilt came. Why had I not been paying closer attention to what he was doing in his class? Why had I not been picking him up and talking with the teacher more?

I realized after some deep breaths that this was not my problem. That my son had chosen to approach his science project exactly as he had. He was not worried about making an idiot of himself. He was happy to go in with the report he had created on static electricity a couple of weeks prior. I had to let it be.

That night after very little sleep , I found myself wide eyed at 3 am. My stomach ached and I was worried sick about my son going to his class looking like he didn't care and worse like I didn't care! I finally got out of bed, hit the computer and printed out the pictures we had created the night before.

I let Paul accompany him to class the next day, while I stayed and worked the show. I figured he can handle the fool making better than I can. His response to the whole affair was classic: "The science fair is next week."

Coffee Shops Rule-Day 15

2009-05-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

I am really happy right now. I am sitting in an independent coffee shop, having great coffee and free WiFi! The music is killer too.

I am on Day 15 away from home, family and garden. I'm so ready to dig my hands in my dirt! Hug my child and kiss my man. I'm not so ready to worry about cleaning the house, making sure my son is occupied nor the constant compromising of being in a relationship. But I'll take the worst in order to have the best.
I am so use to hitting the ground running every day of my life that I was happy to sit and watch two movies last night. When did that last happen? I don't think it has in the past five years. While staying in DC I got a lot of things accomplished with my computer. But I am only here for a short time and I need to spend it sharing moments with my dear girlfriend.

I've been walking my friends new puppy. He's a pretty golden retriever. I've really enjoyed having him around for the walk. I have been toying with the idea of a dog, despite my constant reasons I tell myself that it's not a good idea to take on one more responsibility. I watch my friend with her puppy and I realize the huge responsibility that it entails and I just don't think I can put that into my life. Adrian never asks for a dog. He never plays with dogs. He's not the kind of kid that has to run up and pet a dog. I think we will visit the pound when I get home and toy with the idea some more.

I am truly a cat person. I was hoping maybe my body chemistry had changed and that maybe we could have a cat again that wouldn't make my eyes water or my nose sneeze or my lungs wheeze. But my girlfriend has a Spooks that loves me. She loves to get on my belly and dig her claws in. I tried it twice for a test, only to find myself sneezing uncontrollably.

I did finally make it down to the National Museum of Art. It is my very favorite Smithsonian. I actually found a Picasso, I once co-owned with a college roommate. I have always been fond of it. I now own it in print again! I also got some great fridge magnets of Monet's and some playing cards relating to different art mediums and terms. I figure I need as much influence in our life on art, since I cannot seem to afford to have any framed lately. I hung in a tour of the modern art section for awhile and learnined a bit about Picasso and Matisse and art in general.

I took a lot of art history in college. It is without a doubt the subject I still remember the most as enjoying the most. I'm not sure I have still retained all the information, but one summer I traveled through Venice and had a blast seeing the originals of all I'd studied.

I also bought Adrian some Architect blocks that can help him make 50 buildings and designs. He loves to build, at least he did 15 days ago!

Coffee's gone. Time to move on.

Ad Button

2009-05-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hi all!
I'm trying to create a new button for my website to be able to pass on to people interested in putting it on thier websites. So that's what you see on the right hand side. Does anyone know how to get rid of the text under the ad. I added this under gadget and java script. Do you normally to this under ad?
Thanks!

Life in DC

2009-05-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

Wow! I've been in Washington DC for 4 days and it feels like a month. I cannot even remember all the people I've met, nor all the interesting conversations. I'm here for work. I spend the weekends selling jewelry and the week days hanging with two of my best friends, Peggy and Edna.

Peggy and Edna are in the film industry. They work on commercials mostly. Edna is also the Inside Edition DC correspondent. So when ever our first lady, Michele Obama goes out to eat, Edna has to interview the restaurants owner! Na, she does better than that. A couple of months ago she interviewed Clint Eastwood and Pete Townsend on the red carpet. Right now she is scouting people for voice overs to be used on a commercial and a website. Peggy is at a meeting, where she is having 6 film clips reviewed for the American Institute of Physician Assistants awards banquet.

My first night here, I met Ted Kennedy's right hand man who's working on the nation medical plan and several film makers and producers. Peggy had scouted out the locations for another producer and chose the house next door to hers. So there were people buzzing in and out, as I prepared dinner.

Dinner is a huge social and epicurean delight every evening. We start with cocktails at 6 on the front porch and we always get a visit from Todd, the neighbor from a white bread family in Illinois. Todd live with his lover James and their two adopted children. He likes to get away for a breather every now and again, so we see him at least twice an evening. Meredith is whom I call "the new front porch girl at the Frolic Arms". She's a child psychiatrist. And there is Steve who's in the film industry who rents a room from Peggy. He live in Delaware but has to work here several times a week. These are the few we see regularly. Then we have the special guests. Those we may plan to invite for a dinner party. One great lady is a DC cop with a Law and Masters degree. She loves to be a cop!

All the flowers are blooming. The peonies are so beautiful. Peggy's backyard looks like an English garden. Many times she'll place a door on two wooden horses, throw a table cover over it, light some candelabras and we have this amazing garden dinner! Peggy is one of those people that has a list of great recipes in her head and can whip it up any time!

I met Peggy and Edna when we all lived in the Caribbean together. They needed to escape their then current life for a much needed break. We would meet once a week for girls luncheon where we would proceed to have several glasses of wine and pretend to go back to work, but mostly ended up lounging on the beach! Back then we talked of our turbulent relationships and kinky affairs. Now we talk about family and the current state of affairs.

Life is fun.

Momma's Day

2009-05-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

I always thought my child would call me Momma. But with Paul being from Gary, IN, I've never been called that Southern term of endearment. I'm Mom. Which is better (in my eyes) than Ma, which is what Paul calls his mother.

After my 4 mile walk/run and a chat with my momma, I came home to sweets from my favorite local chocolatier! We then set starting and finishing my flower garden. I had a list of native wild flowers that bloom most of the year and stay green all year that I had gotten off our local NPR station. I found some form of species at the local nursery and then we got some beautiful stones to compliment it all. Adrian, Paul and I spent two hours making it all happen. If they all make it I envision an English looking garden someday. The area we planted in was a plot we had been saving for our potted tomatoes, but last week we decided we'd keep them where they are and so I got the space to plan a flower garden! I was quit excited as I had been wanting one and especially in this spot.

Later we had a wonderful Salmon dinner with corn and grilled potatoes. What a feast! I also had gotten flowers as a gift!

It was a lovely day spent splashing in the pool, playing basketball and ending with a good book all in the great outdoors of our backyard. Did I forget the great bottle of special wine I opened for the occasion?! Alexander Valley's Soverain and the grape was a Cabernet Sauvignon.

Here's a few of the boy who made it all happen.

And the man! Because to spite my strong feminist ways, I never want to do it without him!

Eating Good in the Neighborhood!

2009-05-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

A Squash Blossom! This is one of 201

Pomegranates!

Oranges!

Marinara Sauce

Caesar's Salad!

Shower in the Red Rocks

2009-05-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

The only picture I got of the guest of honor! Her baby's wearing the shirt I made!

Note the number of baby rattler pins on the right hand side. Tara was tearing it up at this game, until..."Baby!"

Big sister makes a splash!

"If I know what's good for me, I'll make it too short!"

Pizza School!

2009-04-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Last night was Pizza School. Learned a lot and played a lot!

For Me.

2009-04-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

I realize, I write this blog for me. It takes way more time than I have. But yet I find myself thinking throughout the day of different topics, feelings and events that I want to blog about.

Life has thrown me a couple of curve balls lately. One day last week, my right breast was very sore. I could feel a fever. I made my first OBGYN appointment in years and it seems all is ok, but I'll have the mammogram to be sure. The doc didn't give any explanation, but her nonchalance was enough to assuaged my mind. I try not to give too much thought to what can go wrong, to the big C. I don't want what's in my mind traveling. But just because i put the effort not to, means I put more effort to the negative than I like. About 6 years ago, when i felt a lump, which turned out to be only a milk duct hardening, I heard a distinct voice tell me I have 3 years. I was half asleep but it jolted me up right. Well that 3 years has long passed, but still it's always in the back of my mind.

The first curve came during our show last week. Six years ago, I found an equestrian artist whose work I loved. I had actually seen a piece on a fellow vendor at a show in Bend, Oregon. She mentioned the artist lived South off I-5 in Oregon. She explained that the person was trying to get off the road and would be very interested in someone selling her jewelry. I probably would have left it to that, but as we were traveling back down to CA, our slide on our RV malfunctioned. So we had to stop off in Ashland, Oregon, home of the artist whose work I had just been introduced to. I gave her a call. Sher came to the camper and thus a relationship developed. We sold Sher's items ordering pieces I loved, then selling a majority on consignment. It seem to work ok. Turns out pieces were harder to sell than I'd like and that made it less likely for me to buy, but I liked the consignment. And she had her pieces showing in shows as opposed to her having the expense of going far distances and paying exorbitant booth fee. I always payed her after every show and shipped back what she needed.

About three months ago, she and i started working on a consignment piece together. I had a national horse food company wanting a piece for a retiring Olympic dressage rider that they sponsored. I gave the work to Sher, I knew she needed it and i also knew she was good. It didn't work out. The big company didn't want to pay the price in the end. They wanted to trade for sponsorship. It didn't jive. I agreed with Sher, that they were not worth it.

So here comes the biggest show of our Equestrian history. Booth space is a premium ($6,500 a pop). We have workers. I retrieved Sher's items from a British women who'd been trying to sell them in the UK. She hadn't sold a one in six months. Sher flies in on Friday and I have 3 cases with her items in it. I introduce her to some potential buyers who are interested in her pieces. She then proceeds to take my customers out of my booth and down another row and start negotiating with them on a pieces that she had brought with her. Sher and I had been in a partnership for 6 years! I was a legit vendor selling in my very expensive real estate! and I had her come up and take my customers out of my booth to trade under the table. Not on.

So I handled it. Probably not the best way, but maybe. Granted I was livid, but I never called her names or criticized her work or went beyond the obvious. I was hurt. She had stabbed me in the back. I took all her pieces down immediately and told her I'd return them as soon as I found time to inventory. So the next day during a break, she got all her items and money for the one piece I sold and the relationship was severed. Funny enough, I had a customer call today, she'd bought a fabulous piece of Sher's at a trade show in Feb. and everyone loved it, esp. her mother, whom she'd like to buy another one for. I gave her Sher's number.

Truly, I hold no hard feelings. I'm hurt, but more than that I feel for her. She has more things to work out than I do when it comes to my regards for her.

So on to better news. I have recently found a cause, I am dedicated to. It is the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation. I have met a few of the young survivors and their family. These children are inspiring. The live with brain operations as a regular occurrence and know their chance of a long life is just a chance. This week I helped at a garage sale where the profits go to the PBTF. There were many donations and it was a lot of organizing. So many people came to help, and the family's of children with PFTs were there as well. I'll write more on this as time goes by.

Earth Day

2009-04-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Every day we think more and more about our energy consumption. The reason does not have to do so much with saving the planet as it does with spending less money. We have been in the 90's since Monday and we turned on our AC tonight for the first time. Tomorrow will be in the 80's again and then in the 70's for the weekend. I'm kinda bummed about that. I was hoping to be able to play in the pool this weekend. The pool temperature had reached 75 degrees today. Although the solar cover was doing it's thing, we still need about 5-10 more degrees.

We've kept our energy efficient shades down all day, creating darkness and cool temperatures. The tile floors help too.

Yesterday we went to the park and explored alternative ways. Paul and I have even talked about a solar oven for out by the pool. Not that we bake so much anyway. But in the summer time it is not an option.

So here are some pictures from our fun day of learning.

Tara and I both brought salads from our garden. We ate local!

Proof in the ... root beer or potion?

Solar Ovens.

Pine cone bird feeders.

Slushies without electricity!

Another Monday!

2009-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

Roses at the office.

He's a Trillionaire

2009-04-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

This morning Adrian learned from his Scientific Oregon Globe, that one dollar equals 9, 300 rupiahs in the Republic of Indonesia. This globe sits on the dining room table. His favorite thing is to learn about the world. He figures he can live like a king on his allowance. I'm wishing I had one of his soon to be servants to serve us our drinks by the pool today.

Now he's busy learning about the NBA, investments and banking while we play his most favorite game-NBA Monopoly. Last week while we worked the World Cup he practiced his social skills, learned about managing employees and how to compensate when problems arise with employees, how to get rid of bad relationship diplomatically and that when things are not going your way, figure out a better way.

I was impressed the way he shook hands with everyone who was eager to see him and looked into their eyes when he spoke to them.

Hmm. I wonder what the kids in school learned last week?

So much more to come...

2009-04-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

Life is too full lately. But here's A helping dad with some remodeling and Easter Egg hunting Las Vegas Style!

Positive + Negative= Friction

2009-03-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

We just finished up a Dressage Horse Show in Burbank, Ca. It was so great being around these large warm blooded magnificent creatures again. It was also great seeing friends I’d missed. The talk amongst the vendors was about the upcoming FEI World Cup show to be in Las Vegas in the middle of April. For all of us this has been regarded as the all time best revenue show of the year.

The World Cup takes place every two years. In 2007 vendors trying to get into the show at this late of date paid $10 k for a 10 x 10 booth space. Knowing what fools were willing to pay, the show promoters had an increase of over 20% for this year’s starting fee. We all jumped on board with no hesitation and no complaining. We did not want to jeopardize getting into the show. Ah, but times have changed since 2007. Today, two weeks before the show, there is an abundance of retail booth space available and the promoter is offering discounts to get it full. This realization has caused resentment among the long term vendors and angry discussions regarding the current state of affairs was heard throughout the horse park.

I have a dear friend named Martha. Martha and her husband are German and America has been very, very good to them. They sold their million dollar Malibu home and their million dollar retail business several years ago. Martha is patriotic and optimistic. When we discussed the current situation regarding World Cup, Martha’s response was-“Oh, well.” She was dead on right. Her response implied what “can you do?” There truly was nothing anyone could do. We had signed our contracts, paid our money and had an obligation. Much like the obligation I made when I purchased a home at double the value it is today. But something about her attitude irked me. Like that piece of sand that irritates the oyster. Why doesn’t she get up in arms? Why doesn’t she get angry? Why does it not make her mad that there is nothing we can do?

During another show this year, there was a vendor in tears because her candle business was costing her more money than she was making. I listened as vendor friends tried to explain to her about profit margins and expenses. She was not open. She refused to believe she could do better. She wanted to cry. I watched as the friction got hotter and hotter with the girl still in tears and the friends furious at her not wanting to listen.

I had to wonder, how many times had I taken on the positive side of a situation in hopes of making a friend happy? How many times had I watched a friend be sad and tried to help with comforting words or by trying to show another side to the situation? I cannot recall it ever helping. But I can recall how it did make them feel better if I commiserated with them. If I agreed they were right and their thought pattern was right on, they somehow felt better. There was no friction.

I hope this realization, will stop me next time. I hope I can refuse the dangling carrot and find a nice peaceful pasture with plenty of green grass where my positive energy can flow and be content in knowing that what they are feeling will pass or not. But either way I have not caused friction.

My first tag

2009-03-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

Guidelines:
1) Link to Green Meme Bloggers.
2) Link back to whoever tagged you. (no need to wait to be tagged!)
3) Include meme number
4) Include these guidelines in your post
5) Tag 3 other green bloggers.
Green Meme #3

1. Are you keeping your temperature (heating/cooling) systems on low? If you have radiators are they fitted with thermostats?
Yes (?) 68 and sometimes I can get it lower if Paul isn't around. It is down to 50 at night. Right now we don't have it on at all.
In the summer we are 78-80 and we have a thermastat.
But we heat our hot tub once -twice a week. Pump and heater are old so we waste a lot there.

2. If yes to the above, what do you to keep warm/cool without resorting to turning up those numbers?
Down comforter and zero degree bags for sleeping

3. Do you turn your fridge temperature down when it has less items in it?
Yes, we have to or things freeze. Lately it's been really empty. Thank you economy.

4. Do you unplug unused small appliances?
I did today after reading this, but we keep everything plugged, coffe grinder, expresso machine, blender, microwave (gasp!) and toaster oven.
5. Do you switch off rather than leave on standby; TV/computer/dvd player/etc?
Yep!
6. Do you own (or will you purchase in the future) energy-efficient (star-rated) home appliances?
Fridge, front load washer and dryer all bought when we moved in as energy stars. But the AC is an antique and the doors and windows need replacing.

7. Do you have any green goals/hopes for the next few months?
Keep AC off as long as possible. Expecially at night. Working hard on garden

I'll tag Diana on Facebook!

I use malapropisms!

2009-03-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

This week Adrian got down a puzzle that had been sitting on a shelf for years. I bought a puzzle for Christmas 2 years ago, but he'd have nothing to do with it when I got it out and tried putting it together. When he was much younger he loved puzzles! Unschooling is about providing, but not forcing. Adrian and this puzzle is a great example of this thought. He has to find things on his own time to be the most enthused.

Our puzzle was bought when we lived in the islands as an activity for Paul and I during Friday night libations. The puzzle is words and letters with their definitions and trivia. Since Paul is a writer I thought he'd enjoy it. He never did. It's probably not as fun when you know all the answers. But this puzzle has some really hard words.

Adrian too took great interest in it and learned some...well trivia!

Malapropism-a verbal blunder through the usage of incorrect words that sound similar.

S-is the first letter of most words in the English language.

Neanimorphic-Looking younger than ones years. (This word was not in my spell check-hmm interesting).

Hiking Club!

2009-03-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Wow! Who ever said kids who don't go to school are anti-everything? Here is what we did in our new Hiking Club! We caught and held lizards, studied the nest of some kind of worms and some kind of moss, checked out some animal tracks, did some killer rock climbing and had so much!!!
I am so so happy, my kid doesn't sit in a classroom not socializing with the kid whose last name begins with the same as his! OK-off my soap box! Yea for fun!

The Spritual Solitude

2009-03-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Well I finally did it. I finished Eat, Pray, Love. I have to admit, it took so long because I never wanted to finish it. It held so many great inspirational words and thoughts. It has inspired me to meditate on a daily basis. It has made me be a bit more discipline in my spiritual development. But it has also made me wonder...

Why is it so much easier to dedicate our life or periods of time to our spiritual development when we do not have significant others (children included) in our life. Sid Hartha left his wife and son, the Dali Lama lives a life of solitude, Jesus Christ and Elizabeth Gilbert had no obligations as she tried to seek her peace.

This morning as I was meditating, I heard A creep into my room, stand for a moment, then crawl in next to me. I was in a pleasant place while this all happened and I hoped by ignoring his presence he'd leave, but instead he whispered "Mommy". I reluctantly went to my side curled him into my spoon and answered "Yes?" He said "This is all I wanted." In Eat, Pray, Love one of the characters says I realized as I was raising my young that it was not important for them to love me, only that I love them.

Tomorrow I will wake up earlier to meditate.

A Sunny Day At Home!

2009-03-15T12:31:00.001-07:00

What We Do on Wednesday!

2009-03-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Talk!

Laugh!

And Play!

How does your garden grow?

2009-03-11T10:17:00.001-07:00

Our tomatoes! We planted them this way last year and we got tomatoes for a very long time. We just have to make sure we do not get any tomato worms this year! We learned a little from last year and we are excited to know that we can grow tomatoes all year long, if we treat them right! Hopefully we have learned from our mistakes!

The beginning. I have great help from my farmer buddies! We have strawberries, cucumbers, peppers, squash and melons! Here's to a bountiful year! Still looking for spinach!

Cocky!

2009-03-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

I am self righteous. I try to right the wrong. I have a problem with phone operators who are trying to help me! My self chatter with drivers who are doing stupid things all in the name of getting somewhere in zero time is all about how stupid they are and how if only they drove like me they'd be so much better off. I am rude to the post office clerk because they make me stand in line instead of handing me a box! And the list goes on and on...

I don't know how I acquired this fault. I have pondered it of late. What in my childhood built this strong character flaw? I know it came from very early on. I know this because a friend from high school recently called me cocky and then preceded to give me stories of crimes I had commited in the ninth grade to back this up! She was right! I have thought everyone is wrong and I am right for way too long. Just being able to not be right is a hard habit to give up. I have tried to correct this in the past. I am better at this than I use to be. I remember when I practiced the many lessons that was to make me realize that being right is not thinking in the right mind. Yet there is still a core part of me that grows strong in this self righteous train of thought. A black, hard trunk that won't turn white no matter how hard I meditate on it.

And meditate I have! I have now gone weeks meditating for an hour or more each morning. But my ego is starting to fight it harder, trying to get me to never begin. It knows once I begin, there is no ending it quickly. My ego whispers loudly, that I don't have time to lie here meditating. I have a list a mile long to get started on. I can't spend any more time somewhere where things may come up that I don't care to see. On and on it goes.

Well, I have to fix this cockiness. I have lived this dream too long with this lie. I know I will not find peace while this delusional trunk grows inside. I must figure out how to stump it from within. How?...

Pictures from Flag Day Mexico Style!

2009-02-28T20:30:00.001-08:00

Morning Start!

Birds!

Cactus Smoothie-Yum!

Grasshoppers (Fried)! Double yum with Tequila!

I never knew Mexican's saluted this way!

Red Parade!

Curve to the right! Curves another name for Taxco! As well as Steep, Narrow, and Squeeze!

Cool Firecracker Works!

Clown!

Favorite place to hang out-Day or Night!

Famous Steeples on Fire!

Tears

2009-02-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

As I prepared to leave for Mexico, I went into A´s room to see if he was ready to take me to the airport. He was standing looking into his underware drawer crying. I asked him what was wrong? "I don´t want you to leave mommy?" Where did this come from? I have traveled many times on this trip since he was born. In the beginning it was very hard for me. On one trip, when he was still nursing, I had dreams the whole time that we was lost and I could not find him.
I remember when I was A´s exact age and my Mom went to England to be with her dying Mom. I too cried. I remember thinking this is what I am suppose to do. I am a good daughter if I cry when she leaves on the plane.
When A was small, I was much more frightened of leaving this dream world. I wanted to have more of an impression on his life, before I left. I would pray when the plane took off and when it landed. My heart felt like it was going to beat our of my body. I am happy those fears are gone.
Yesterday´s flight was on a Mexican airline. Trust me, there is no way your plane is going down if God has anything to do with it. Every person in there makes the sign of the cross as the plane takes off and lands. It is very reassuring!

Achiever

2009-02-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

Adrian and his buddy playing hang man.

Adrian likes to go to classes at the recreation center around the corner. They offer homeshooling classes in art, home-ec., history and science. This term he is taking Home-ec and science. He chose home ec. because art was cancelled and he really wanted some of those cupcakes they make! He has taken the science for over a year. I try every quarter to get him interested in history, because it is taught by his science teacher, but he informs me "Sitting in a class room for 2 hours is not gonna happen"!

This week he had a test in science. He was able to take it home and finish it. When I learned about this, the instilled ways of my upbringing came forth. I started off encouraging him to finish the test that day, "Get it over with and you don't have to worry about it the rest of the week." "I don't care about doing it now, I have all week!" So then I forced him. He gave me some dirty looks, but he got down to business. Well sort of. He answered all the questions but two. When I asked him why he didn't do the last two, his response "I don't need to make an A."

My overachiever!

From seed

2009-02-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

I pretend to be a gardner. I love the idea of having organic fruits and vegetables growing in my backyard. I want to grow in abundance! I want there to be enough for canning and freezing, like my grandmother always did. But...I have to tell you...I don't think I'm gonna make it. For over a month I have had these seeds under a grow light, burning more electricity than I care to figure out. Granted I forgot about them when we went to CA for 5 days and they were stuck in the dark during the whole time, but since then I have given them love and attention and the sproutling are just not responding. I mean look at them. There is no way they are ready for the outside garden! Now I have to decide...do i give it one more shot and try germinating the tomato seeds or do I head to Star Nursury and get me some plants?

FaceBook

2009-02-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Wow! What a phenomena! I joined this Internet networking tool to find someone, about 3 weeks ago and since then, I have been addicted! It really made me so happy when I found some really dear friends from the islands while piddlin around. It was great reconnecting with these people, who'd I'd often wondered about. There were a lot of "what ifs?" that kept floating around my mind. "What if I'd bought the house we were looking at?" "What if I'd had Adrian down there?" "What would Paul be doing for work?" "Would I be working?"

I divide my life in categories: the high school years, the college years, the island years, the RV years and the now(Las Vegas). I like to live in the now. Nothing matters more than the now, but I have to say, I have loved, loved seeing pictures of friends from high school and college. Some, well most, still live in the town we went to school in and some have had a great whirlwind of a life. My friend Daryl has gone from evangelist, to biker, to a killer missionary photographer. My friend Kim has made me laugh and laugh! We can't keep talking to each other!
Now, it's odd, I don't know how much I have in common with people I haven't seen in 20 years, but that's ok. Just knowing they are living and seeing their pictures has been a blast!

Sleep-how important is it?

2009-02-18T08:58:00.000-08:00

I recently read an article in our local newspaper that stated the average person gets five-six hours asleep a day! The President gets five hours a day! We recently did a show where I got five or less per day for 8 days. This is not who I am. I am an 8 hours of sleep a day women.

Since this show ended I have been sleeping as much as 10-11 hours at night! This is not who I am either. But my body plays catch up. I believe you can make up for the time lost!

When I sleep I am comfortable, cozy and happy!

Go See the Reader!

2009-02-16T12:42:00.000-08:00

I went to the movie theaters yesterday! I saw something I wanted and it was not children friendly! I love family movies, but I also love-yes! love Indy films.

Adrian and Paul had a bonding day, scouting the stores for a Weii game. Mom and I went to the movies! There were several films I wanted to see: Slumdogs, Revolutionary Road, Milk and the Reader. We chose the Reader, because Mom was not interested in a gay mayor, or a foreign film and we both knew little about Revolutionary Road.

I was riveted from the first scene! The acting and the cinematography was spell bounding!
The character played by Kate Winslow made choices from a place of shame. Mom wasn't so thrilled with all the sex and bath taking, but I thought it all had a role in the big picture.

At a recent jewelry show, I filled out forms for people who were unable to read or write. I realized how unaffected we are by the majority. If we are never faced with the working class we tend to find it so hard to believe that someone really does not know how to read or write. People have the skill and intuitive to be leaders, but fail because they do not know how to read and write. A friend of mine recently conveyed the stories of young adults she'd taught reading. Some of these students were managers already

Adrian is actually reading himself to sleep at night. He just finished his first book. He has just picked out more books to read and he's emailing friends! I don't force his reading. A well meaning friend once said to me, you should have your child read to you. "There is so much he does not know to do." She meant he did not know how to pause for commas and periods.

See the Reader any way you can! It will have you thinking for a long time. Or not.

New Commitments

2009-02-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

What is eating healthy? Medical doctors believe a diet low in fat and high in grains, fruit and vegetables is the key to low cholesterol and a healthy heart. But have you ever read the Cholesterol Myth?
I have one friend who only eats organic. Organic meat, organic dairy, organic everything. I have another who only eats raw. She hasn't had a bite of baked bread in five years. She is a great chef and makes some awesome raw meals. But I am not ready to go to any extremes.
I know that it is not what we put in our mouth but what we believe we are putting in our mouth that keeps us healthy. Yet when I keep putting more and more in my mouth I have to analyze it a bit more. One of the healthiest and happiest times in my life was when I was a practicing student of ACIM. Spiritual happiness took the place of self doubt. Eating a healthy diet in the right proportions was easy, because it wasn't something I gave a lot of effort to. My effort went into my spiritual happiness. My mind was more concerned with the right way of thinking. It was a discipline that gave me great comfort.
Because I know this, I commit to awareness. Mindful awareness. I am aware of what the label says. If I can't understand the ingredients, I don't want it. I'll eat organic as much as possible. I commit to love. I commit to meditation. Meditation daily.
Next up goals for a peaceful existence.

One more Year B4 the double digits!

2009-02-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

My baby's growing up! Here are some photos of his wonderful weekend, which he spent most of it in the RV ruling the roost. He watched old movie videos, played new DS game, and built his entire new Lego set in one day. We went out to dinner on his birthday night with vendor friends.

We want this forever!

2009-02-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

The Law of Giving

2009-01-26T14:37:00.000-08:00

Gratefully receive gifts. Keep wealth circulating by giving and receiving care, affection, appreciation, and love.
This is a hard one for our children sometimes...and adults. This year Adrian wanted to buy each of his friends a gift for Christmas and I discouraged him! I know most of his friends are part of a one income family. I didn't want his friends or their family feeling obligated to get him a gift. I was even more afraid that he would be disappointed if he did not receive a gift in return. I was so wrong about this! I wish I had not discouraged this action.
Giving gifts is so rewarding, even to my almost 9 year old. I watched yesterday as some of his friends gave him gifts for his birthday. They were so excited to give him something they knew he would like. He did enjoy the gifts, but I saw he had a hard time expressing it. Yet he played with his new toys all the way home and as soon as he got home, he hammered in his new basketball ring and then ran outside to toss his new Nerf ball. I only wish his friends saw that.
Gifts are filled with so much care and love. I'll never make that mistake again.

Three Worlds...

2009-01-22T18:31:00.000-08:00

This early morning I lied awake in bed, feeling the softness of my sheets, the firmness of my mattress and so enjoying the comforts, but with it came a pressing thought of all I needed to accomplish today, before being a mom. A thought passed my head, I remembered a dear friend who once commented that she lies awake in bed for hours having a hard time getting out of bed.

Yesterday, I had a remarkable lunch with several ladies who left me feeling awed. These ladies were in their 50's and 60's. They had no children, no husband but had very prominent jobs. Jobs that had flourished during our better times-one a stock broker and one in advertisement. These ladies, despite their high demanding jobs had been major players in our community. They had an unbelievable charity volunteer record. They had been raising money for important charities for most of their career life. Even yesterday they were jumping through hoops to be volunteers at a local hospital. Our hospitals need volunteers. I was in total awe of these ladies, especially when the stock broker told me she had no idea what her future with her company would be and so I asked what shall you do then and she replied I will finish up my Architecture degree I have been working on for the past few years!

Fast forward and one hour later, I am hanging out with my "crunchy" girlfriends at the park, while our children run free. This was an adjustment for me. I had a hard time adjusting to the trivia we deal with on a daily basis. I believe that what we are achieving through putting our family first is a huge plus to our society and most importantly to our children. I believe we are all doing what is right. I believe in non-judgement. I believe we can all make a difference.

This morning I got out of my comfortable bed and without skipping a beat I jumped on my computer to work until I took my son to our rock climbing adventure. There was no time to linger, no time to think about the cares in the world. I have a business to run, a family to help support, and a child to hold. I don't pretend to know another world, though I admit I'd like to know another. I suppose there are some who would like to know my world...

So I got upset when a friend wrote about her thoughts of how Americans need to run their business. Am I really so upset about her opinions that run so close to mine?

Or is it I know she can lie in the comforts of her bed until she doesn't care to.

One is Silver and the Other's Gold

2009-01-20T20:40:00.000-08:00

Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold. I've been thinking about my friends a lot lately. Having traveled all over I have friends on remote french islands off the coast of Africa and in Europe and the US Virgin Islands and on the mainland they go from Florida to Connecticut to California and every where in between. Many of my friends call me the glue that holds us together. The contact person who remembers to call once or twice a year and tell them all about our friends.
Making friends and keeping in touch is the easy part. The toughest part is those that have wanted to leave my companionship. I'm never sure of the reason, nor is there ever a closure, they just stop answering my phone calls.
I've spent nights past going over what I said or what I could have done to make my friend decide she just didn't care to have me in her life any more? Perhaps it's the distance or the full life that come with getting older. With marriage, kids, and work, there's just not enough time to talk to someone you never see. Maybe talking to me is the last thing they want to do at the end of a long week or day.
Never the less it still hurts. I have to admit, I have friends I've out grown. One girlfriend thinks every time she sees me that I have been dying to drink tequila, sing classic rock n roll like I'm on stage and stay up till dawn. I'd say I've out grown her. I'd say some times it's really hard trying to make conversation with her. We don't think the same way when it comes to nutrition, health, politics or relationships, but she was there when no one else was. She stuck her neck out for me when I was pregnant and needed an address so I could get medical care for cheap. She doesn't want to let me go. So I get to keep her.
Maybe my reason for thinking that I've out grown my tequila swigging girlfriend is the same reason my other girlfriends have dropped me. They were all friends from college.
Maybe we just grew apart. It's natural. We tend to keep close those who can reassure us our way of thinking is OK. But not me! I always love a challenge! And I always love my girlfriends forever and ever.
So I keep my precious metals-I keep the old in my heart, in my soul and in my mind. They might never be on the other end of the phone line, but they are always with me.

January Lessons

2009-01-16T13:51:00.000-08:00

So many times I hear, "what curriculum do you use to teach your son? " Well I have to say, this has been a learning full month. Earlier this month I told Adrian he was going to log on to Time 4Learning, an online learning program, more often. His father was pressuring me. So for the sake of our relationship, we are trying to help Dad out. Adrian really does like this program and spends hours unasked playing on it. He's into the reading comprehension at the moment. I've noticed he's taking a little more interest in spelling too. He can skip around on the grade buttons.

But the biggest learning adventure has been the construction of his new tree house. Paul has allowed Adrian to do all the planning and most of the hammering. It's funny, Paul is always asking Adrian to get off his learning program to work on the tree house and Adrian is always trying to have as much fun on his computer before having more fun on the tree house!

And me? Well I am just so happy that they are both happy!

Why I live here?

2009-01-12T19:13:00.001-08:00

The new theme picture is actually a local winter picture. We took this when we visited the Colorado River at the end of December. The local is about a 45 minute drive from here. Paul and Adrian have spent several days here, tooling around in a boat of some sort. There is a fisherie here too. Today was the most gorgeous day ever. It was a high of 70 degrees and the sun was bright! During my evening walk the colors in the sky were beautiful as a slight chill started cooling down the night. Two day's ago we were sledding on Mt. Charleston, another 45 minute drive!
I had lunch with a girlfriend and as we were remarking on the beautiful day, we both said together-"This is why we live here!"

This Pirate Looks at Another Year in the Forty's

2009-01-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't plan on saying what year I turned this week, I can tell you James Bond's "From Russian With Love" was made the same year as me. We are watching yet another James Bond! My birthday was a great day, thanks to my family. I spent the first part of the day enjoying the spa at Green Valley Ranch. This had been a Mother's Day gift, I never got around to using. I wanted to many times, but it was such a great gift I kept waiting for the perfect time.
After four luxurious hours I got home to find the boy's had prepared a Greek Fiesta! Greece is the one place I have never been and have wanted to go all my life. I love greek food. We had lamb, olives, fabulous cream feta, and best of all-Saganoki. Saganoki is not a wine! Although my meal did come complete with a Greek wine. Saganoki is Kasseri cheese floured, fried in olive oil soaked in brandy and lastly it is flamed. You must always say "OOPA!" when the cheese is lit.
We placed all this on our trampoline in the TV room, lit some candles and watched Return to Witch Mountain 2. Later I watched Billy Elliot. It was a glorious day and I went to bed thankful for the thoughtful man in my life

Jimmy Buffet and I don't need Birthdays Cause My Friends Can Remind Me How Old I Am!

2009-01-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

For the life of me I can not figure out how Miranda gets those videos on her blog!
So a few of my friends asked me how I came up with my blog name. I'm sorry I thought everyone knew this Jimmy Buffett song. Here I was always making reference to JB and I come to find out people actually don't know why!!! Sorry. Of course I have to say, I remember singing this song when I was 17, before many of my friends were born, so I should not be surprised! Here's the video I liked best. This video has the song really clear. Does anyone know how I can have this playing when you open my blog?
For you youngsters, apparently Jack Johnson sings it too! There is even a video with him and Dave Mathew singing it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQGTaS0IFOs

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Watched the men who rode you switch from sail to steam
In your belly you can hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of em dreams, most of em dreams
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons dont thunder, theres nothin to plunder
Im an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
But Ive done a bit of smugglin, I've run my share of grass
Made enough money to buy miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
Passed out and I rallied and I amoked a few reefs
But Ive got stop wishin, got to go fishin down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few you friends.
Now I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran em away, theyd come back one day
And I still could manage a smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while
Mother, mother ocean, after all my years Ive foundOccupational hazard being my occupations just not around
Feel like Ive drowned, gonna head up town.
Feel like Ive drowned, Im gonna head up town

The Twelfth Holy Night - The Need for a Tree Image

2009-01-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how I have been mourning over taking down our Christmas Tree! For me it is symbolic of the wonderful Christmas Season we have just experienced. It was truly one of the prettiest trees we have ever had. I have been buying a few cheap ornaments during this time of sales. Paul said-"We just got it right!" Because we bought the tree so late it is just now getting old enough that the pine smell fills up the house! I looked at our tree during dinner and thought I'll blog about our tree. So how surprised I was to read my email and find that today's message was of a tree!!! Tree's have always been special for me. I remember as a child feeling the energy that exuded our Pine tree in our country yard. When I was pregnant with Adrian I would go walking and concentrate on the energy from the trees in my surroundings.

Lynn's words today:

Our souls need an image of a Tree. A trunk, simple, straight and solid. Branches and roots, twisted, reaching deep and high, weaving, feeding and nourishing, budding, leafing and fruiting. Sanctuary to birds, bugs, serpents, squirrels, spirits and sleeping possums. Source of great myths and mysteries. The tree of knowledge and the tree of life. The Bodhi Tree of Buddha. Your Soul’s Tree. In our souls, spirit weaves into matter and matter weaves into spirit, especially when your core, your I am I, is strong like a tree trunk.The Tree has been an archetypal image through the ages. Now it is an archetypal image for the individual. Imagine your own soul's tree image.Tonight, imagine your Soul’s Tree. It is the source of the growth of your wonder and your wisdom. Tend to your tree with love. Feed it with freedom. Burrow into the roots and build nests in the branches.

Inner Christmas

2009-01-03T20:47:00.000-08:00

Every year (for the last two years), I have received 12 emails (one a day starting Christmas day) representing an Inner Christmas. On the sixth Holy Night I read about arousal:

Tonight, look back over the year, or over your life, for the presence of arousal in your soul. What turns you on in ways that give you a strengthened sense of self? As for my life the answer shouts loudly: "yoga"- espeacially when I would practice on a Sunday morning on the Heart Shaped Beach of Megan's Bay in St. Thomas. Yoga does stengthen my sense of self, yet I do not make it my life pattern.

What new ideas, new feelings, new activities have you engaged in with enthusiasm? The election this year gave me lots of arousals and in some of these experiences there was a need to calm the soul afterwards.

When we can calm our souls and stimulate arousal consciously, we find true joy in our humanity.
I resolve to find more arousals in this the last year of the naughts.

2008-12-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

Chritmas Morning

Santa enjoyed his peppermint bark and Adrian enjoys all his gifts.

Christmas Dinner

Yes-we eat what we like on Christmas and we all love oysters and the English Tradition of Christmas Crackers!

Christmas Eve Tradition -out to dinner!

Grandmother Lois' visits!

LVLL Christmas Party

2008-12-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

An elfish Julianna!

Our Gracious Host-Baby Jessie Lou.

Can I get enough snow?

A day of fun and snow were had by all! It was nice to have an area to warm up and chow down!

Christmas Stories

2008-12-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

Last night adrian & I laid snuggled in his bed. Our furnace remains off for the most part of these cold nights, so the snuggle is extra special. We are reading a collection of Christmas Stories. Some are about Santa and some are about the birth of Jesus.
My son ponders after several tales and then comments that the Santa stories are so much more believable than the Baby Jesus Story. "I mean, come on, a baby being born in a manger and three wise guys traveling from afar?"
"Yes, my son" I agreed "it is so much easier to beieve a never aging elf flys throught the night with his reindeer bringing gifts to all good boys and girls." What else could I say?

The Best Day of my LIfe!!!

2008-12-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

Snowball Fight

2008-12-17T16:47:00.001-08:00

I've been hit so many times I have to change my underwear!

Searching for the Perfect Xmas Tree In the...

2008-12-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

IN THE SNOW!!!

Santa's First Visit

2008-12-17T16:29:00.000-08:00

ONE OF TWO PARTY'S Santa VISITED!

Jury duty

2008-12-15T15:48:00.000-08:00

I had to wake up at the crack of dawn today for Jury duty! Not something I looked forward too, after coming off one partial day of rest after a long hard show. I had dreaded this day, thinking of every way possible I could give to the judge as an excuse as to why I can never do Jury Duty. But then as I was there listening to our law system interview us for being a possible juror, I realized what a privilege it would be to be a part of our law system. I thought how it is my duty as a US Citizen to help in our Judicial system. The case I was to be "interviewed" for was a domestic violence case. although my number never came up, I was able to get the just of the case. The man was being accused of domestic violence and his children were involved some how. The accuser was not going to show up in court, and there would be some controversy regarding statements made and then retracted. The defendant would not be testifying.
I don't think I could have been unbiased in the case. State being involved at all in a child's fate is not something I have a clear point of view about. In other words, I believe children should be protected, but I am not sure the state can do this justly. I also had a strong dislike for the two female attorneys representing the man. I immediately felt they were not genuine, but using their looks and actions to persuade people that the defendant was the abused. a question that came up a lot was do you feel a man can be the one being abused and that he has a right to defend himself. I know I would have answered yes to this, but I have to know how much danger was he in? Did his wife have a weapon? Was she considerably larger than him? How can we answer these questions without these answers? If I had expressed these concerns I'm sure I would immediately be dismissed. In fact I believe they dismissed the last possible juror because she was a female and the jury needed to be more males so to be in their favor. I would think men would be more apt to agree men could be abused before most women will. The potential juror said nothing to give a reason why she should not be on the jury.
So,I suppose despite my need to want to be a part of our great Judicial system, all in all I am to opinionated to truly be unbiased.
another great point of interest was the number of potential jurors who had been involved in domestic violence. 10 our of 30! Wow! another reason to want to be a part of putting the bad behind bars? That last statment is so not part of some way I want to think! Way to much judgement for who i strive to be. Maybe i better own up to that before i have the chance of getting called back in two years.

With a Thankful Heart...

2008-11-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

I give and receive from the abundance.
So many times I choose to feel guilt for receiving more than giving, but this is conditional thinking. I believe if we all choose to think how we have touched another we will understand we give more than we think. I remember a lesson in the Celestine Prophesy I did many years ago remains with me still in thought. The lesson was to think of what incidents had occurred in my life to place me where I am today and remember all the people and choices that made it happen. I concluded that a choice I made in High school to befriend a troubled girl roller coasted to all that I am today. I have used this exercise to think of friends and acquaintances I have known and realized how our choosing to be in each others life created life changes. For instance I hired a girl years ago as a hotel concierge. She's now a GM of a resort. I hired another to help me with a show and was told a yer later I had inspired her to change her life. She lost 40 lbs and realized the world was hers to own! Wow! She gets it more than me!!! LOL! I gave in each of those instnaces without knowing I was giving.

I have figured out the key to the best Thanksgiving! Have it a day early! This morning I got to have Thanksgiving dinner for breakfast.
Mom and a friend had to travel today. So after a very slow start we got in the kitchen yesterday at 10am and was eating at 6:00 PM. I enjoyed spending the day with Mom in the kitchen cooking and laughing. Two o'clock, we popped open the bottle of champagne and had Pomegranitosas! This year we had the traditional Thanksgiving dinner minus the cranberry sauce! I have vowed to make that today! Just not the same without it!
Adrian and I laid in bed watching the Macy's Day parade and playing Countdown. We read a little of the last book of Harry Potter (A's not much into this last one, a bit too dark for my happy son). and now we are doing whatever we want! a nice break after such a long stretch of work!
I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, and a big hug of love and thanks for being in my life!

Hypocrite or Desirable?

2008-11-12T09:12:00.000-08:00

For a very long time I have read the Course in Miracles. It is my desire to be more like Christ, more accepting and less critical and non-judgemental.
My father sent me an email yesterday. It was meant to be funny at the expense of Barrack Obama. It made me very angry because it was a picture of Africans traveling as so many do in the back of a truck. The caption was something about going to the White House.
I explained to my father my feelings towards email of this sort. I expressed that as it was intended to provoke fear and to poke fun of another it was not in sync with my beliefs or desires. I believe my reaction had a lot to do with the fear towards different religions and races that was so abundantly present during this campaign that I was feeding off of too. I went on to explain a meeting I once had with my CIM teacher. During the meeting she explained her dislike for comedians because they preyed on peoples weakness and poked fun at others. This meeting was more than 10 yrs ago, but I always remember it.
So shift to last night and the family is trying to find something on the TV that we would all like to watch. Some choices were Sex Change hospital, Pregnant paralyzed women, and man with disease that makes him look like he has tree limbs for hands. We laughed at these shows and their titles. Made comedian jokes regarding them.
Had I not given the lecture earlier that this was a judgement I did not desire to hold? Life is funny how it shows me my lessons on a daily routine. I only hope I learn and precede on stopping myself each time I want to judge another because of thier appearance.

Halloween

2008-10-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

The LifeLearner Party was a blast this year! So was the Clark County Mueseum. We spent 2.5 hours trick or treating on Friday night. So much fun!

I voted!

2008-10-27T16:17:00.001-07:00

Yes, I get to wear my sticker. Two nights ago, i pondered my choice for president once more. Was I selling out? Did I really want to vote for someone so political? So entrenched in DC? Vote for someone who new how to play the game?

I disagree with Obama's view on education. I'm not so sure about his economic strategy, nor his tax plan. I have even wane from my socialistic ideals in later years. I do believe we should help everyone we can regardless. There has to be janitors and servers. Not everyone can be the Warren Buffets or Bill Gates. We have the freedom to help each other. I hate the argument: Why should I pay for some individual who just works the system in order to not have to work? Because without that generosity a mother has to struggle to find the medical care for her sick daughter. Does it matter she chose the career path she chose, or does it matter that we can help her without any judgement?

What was it that finally tipped the iceberg? The kind of leadership qualities I believe Obama possesses . I feel he is more likely to learn from his errors, has more self control, and will have the willingness to change.

So I could have voted for Barr, but I didn't. I voted for the top candidate of my choice.

I'm not expecting miracles just a leader with traits shared by some of our greatest presidents (or is greatest presidents an oxymoron?).

Zion National Park

2008-10-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a weekend! I have not had so much fun with friends and family in forever! There were four families in a group campsite in Zion National Park. It was interesting watching the dynamics of other families. I was very happy to share my family with friends. Paul is generous and so helpful. He is truly my rock of Gilbralta. I have never considered him laid back despite his outward hippy appearance, but after this weekend I would say he's the best at being laid back. Sometimes I wish we'd had another child because Adrian is so socialable. I think maybe he'd be more content at home, but most times I think he's benefitted from all the energy & attention he receives from being an only child.

"Used Wet Clothes for Sale"!

This weekend Mom & Dad were not on his mind. He played from morning to night. What fun.

One of our friends asked if I missed traveling. I don't. Yes, traveling is my passion and sometimes I wonder would we have been more adventuresome and traveled to Europe to try the Horse shows if we had stayed living in our RV? Would life be so much less worrisome without the need to have to work harder to pay our mortgage? Yes I ponder these thoughts and I think: Did we make a mistake? But this weekend we thought about venturing over to the North Rim since we were so close and again I wondered about the life we gave up. Yet Adrian & I were in unison in our desire to get back home after the weekend away.

On Saturday evening the night wind was blowing in the leaves and a handful of us were still awake stroking the fire and my girlfriend strummed on her guitar and a overwhelming sense of peace came over me as I realized I was exactly where I want to be! I love my home and my friends, who are like minded and my new life!

What I Learned @ the Farm Festival

2008-10-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Spanish Sheep herders roamed Northern Nevada Country Side.

When trying to break the ice walk backwards

Llamas are shy animals!

School on Monday

2008-10-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

So, every year@ this time, I start evaluating A's "education". It's fall, a time for new school things. Yea...I forget I don't school my kid!!! So today we march into the local learning center to retrieve items to help him learn what i fear he lags behind in. In this case as every year it is his handwriting & spelling & i still try & get those multiplications in! So I'm going through the work books & he's not helping. Workbooks are torture to him. Then i come to the games. Oh yea! It dawns on me how much he learns through games & activities. Duh... As my son would say. WE get home he starts right away on his new crystal kit. He love science. Then he goes on to play capture the flag with his dad. I drop in for lunch, as i am busy upstairs working & i realize my son knows more than me!
It was a question regarding whales. Well my son reads zoo books on the toilet everyday. He'll sit on that pot for close to an hour, head hidden in the magazine lines being formed on his butt cheeks as he releases yesterday's byproducts.
Yes his handwriting is atrocious & he not real good @ answering questions elaborately or telling stories, but he can sure create a Lego invention that comes with a good story!

2008-10-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

Daniel & A

Uncle Jeff's fish camp where we slept during our stay in MS. Those ducks love that coffee.

Cousin Lowery

Home Sweet Home

2008-09-11T09:55:00.001-07:00

Grandmother has an old ceramic plaque that hangs over the firplace in her room. In it are an elderly couple sitting in a one room house in their rocking chairs. The plaque is brown with age, and I don't know how long it's been there. 45 years? It is titled "Home Sweet Home".

This is my third day here. On the first day she was awake and talking to me. I thought, as soon as we get some time together I am going to ask her about that plaque.

Humanitarian Crisis

2008-09-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

I hope I spelled that right. I have not learned to spell check yet. I can tell I have gotten use to my words capitalizing my i?s.
I just met a Belgium gentleman. He he is a professor of Humanitarian Crisis at a University. He has studied Guatemala a lot, but focuses now on the Congo. Why do we say the Congo? He follows where the Red Cross goes. I think that would be an interesting job. Why did i never know about such studies when Iwas at the University?
After much searching I finally found a church where candles were lit. It was at the convent. The Catholics light candles and pray for causes. As long as the candle burns our prayers are heard. Only I needed to buy a candle at a store and bring it to the church. Since i left without money, it was too late. After some thought, I realized my grandmother may never let go of this world if she knew a candle was burning for her in a Catholic Church. Perhaps i will be selfish and tell her i did anyway. That way i can hold onto her a little bit longer.

Churches & Saints

2008-09-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

I have passed my time in the local spanish churches. I have hoped to find solace there. Instead I find myself mesmorized by the devotion and rituals of the Mexican people. I have at times in the past found peace, esp. in the churches throughout Mexico. There is normally a great sense of peace and love I feel, but not this time. Taxco is famous for it´s Zocalo Church- Santa Prisca. It has lavish carvings on the inside and out. The inside carvings are painted with gold. And it contains the most disturbing figures of Jesus with matted dreadlock wigs. It is VERY SCARRY. I watched as young and old visited during my time. Each praying to every figure in the church. I know they do this every day. I looked at the figures wondering how the Catholics came about praising souls long after they have left this world. I wondered where the soul of Mother Mary is now. I repeated my Hail Mary´s and Our Fathers´changing the words a little. I could not say ¨pray for us sinners¨especially. It sounded like such a degrading request. Like it was written so we do not forget we are sinners. I don´t think sinners are nice people. How can i feel good about the light of God shining in me and my brothers and sisters if we are all sinners?
For a brief moment I wondered should my grandmother be cast as a saint? I though of how she raised her family during hard times and devoted herself to her religion. I thought how she loved me despite the fact i never married Paul. I thought of all the love she had for all her extended family. 7 children, 20 grandchildren and more than forty great grandchildren and 2 great, great granchildren. She knew all thier names. But I don't think my grandmother is a saint in the church´s world, not even in my world.
My Dad once brought her to visit me in the Caribbean. I took her to my friend Lisa´s house. Lisa is married to an West Indian and has 4 children by him. My grandmother was polite. I remember Lisa had just cleaned her house and was talking how hard it was. She said to my grandmother-"you know", referring to the fact my Grandmother had kept a clean house with 7 children. My grandmother remarked-"oh, but I had 2 black women to help me." I thought maybe my grandmother gave up a bit of her prejudice feelings while visiting the island. That she saw the good in all. Year´s later when i visited her at home in Mississippi, she made a point to tell me how wrong she thought it was that my friend Lisa, married a black man. I still don´t think I was wrong I still beleive for a few moment while in a different place she forgot about black and white.

Waiting for the call

2008-09-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

All year I have known this day would come. If the phone rings at 3am I get up to check. But today when I woke in my small stucco room in the basement of Agua Escondido Hotel in the mountains of Mexico, I had no idea today would be the day.
My grandmother has decided to go to bed and not eat. I cannot blame her she is 93. October she will be 94. She has been taken care of by a black women during these last few weeks. This is something my Southern bred Grandmother would and has had a hard time with. As much God as she accepted she could never change her feelings for the black race. Even though she was on the Jury for the trial of the infamous Civil rights activists killings that took place in the 60´s. Later to become the movie "Mississippi Burning¨. My grandfather did not talk to her for months after the decision came back-guilty of conspriacy.

The most vivid memory that comes to mind is the morning she had to tell me that my maternal grandmother had died. My Mom was in England at her Mom´s bedside. My grandmother was making me oatmill. I never ate the oatmill.
I wish I could thank her. I don´t think i have ever thanked her for all she is to me. Can she feel my love, wishing her onto peace?
A women who gave her whole life to her family. A women who had to put her first born to rest before her. A women who bore 7 children. She told me once her happiest days were when her children were all at home. Awomen who had her own garden until a couple of months ago.

May peace be with us. I miss you grandmother.

Give me oysters and beer every day of the year...

2008-09-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

And I'll feel fine! A says we don't eat oysters enough. "We need to eat them every 3 weeks." At least he knows we can't afford it everyday!
It was a great day. The family spent the day out by the pool- grilling oysters, fish and listening to Margaritteville on Sirius.
I'm really not a huge Jimmy Buffet fan and I'm definetly not considered a Parrot Head, since I've never seen him in a concert. I have seen him play, well sorta. He sang "Cheeseburger in Paradise", twice forgetting he'd sang it once.
It was in the late 80's and I was on the Isle of St. Bart. So was a lot of European sailors. The sailors were doing the Sant Lauirent race from France. Jimmy was partying. My girlfriends and me? ...we were touring the island during it's off season. Jimmy sang at Le Select. The bar he went into looking for a Cheeseburger in Paradise. Me? I discovered goat cheese on a pizza!

Mother, Mother Ocean...

2008-08-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

So why the title? I relate to the song? I love the ocean? I'm in my forty's? Maybe it takes me back to days gone by. And here I am blogging so I can look back at days gone by! This is something I've wanted to do for awhile. Why? Maybe to be hip or maybe because life makes more sense when we write it all down.
Today I miss hearing the Gulf of Mexico. I wish I could hear the "mother, mother ocean.".
Instead I hear my ego. I'm in the heat of the moment. It is the end of August in election year 2008. I am the only family member not voting for the Republican candidate. My family and I don't see eye to eye on many issues, but this election I am taking to heart. Despite the state of the Union, despite the need for a change, I fear my family resist the party they have voted for in years past because of their roots. I was born in the deep South. I give my family many credits for my liberal ways of living. My family has never been mean to a color of race nor was I ever allowed to say the "N" word, they took me on travels across the world, but I fear racism is still in their hearts unknowingly. My father boasts about having a black neighbor who visits him, sits next to him in his office and shares moments with him, but the mere fact that he boast means to me, he has a hard time seeing his neighbor without his skin. My Daddy's entire family (my step family) has always voted Democrat. They won't this year. They use the "N" word, much to their mother's chagrin.

But what does it truly all mean in the end. The President of the US doesn't make me happy, my family's racism has nothing to do with my own happiness. It is just my ego telling me what have you got if you're not on the same page with the people who mean the most. How do you talk to people you know have placed judgement on a person, because of his color or religion? How do i give up my judgement?